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GIVE ME ANTLERS
Category: Life
I think it's homophobic that I don't have antlers. ...rude of whoever runs this joint to deny me my feral rights. » Continue Reading
Unsleeping
"Questioning my life choices.. "
Mentally Overwhelmed, Emotionally Fâ¨cked
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Unsleeping's Blog Entries
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Loneliness is eating away at me..
Category: Life
Long hours kept awake due to severe pain. Vacant stares in the mirror, as I try to discern if I'm slipping further into insanity, or is it just exhaustion from not having any control of my life... I'm unsure of who I am. Disabilities and mental illness stole my youth. I never got a real chance to experience things the way others do. There was always something hindering my progress. I found myself ... » Continue Reading
I need to vent..
Category: Blogging
Today was a lot to handle. Last night I barely slept, due to anxiety over my appointment with my neurologist and having to spend an hour in a car just to get there. Overall, I knew it would be stressful and I prepared as best I could. However, there were a few curve balls that got thrown at me and I admit I didn't handle the situation that well. Those being: A heavy thunderstorm that came out ... » Continue Reading
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Vulnerability is terrifying..
Category: Blogging
But I want to be more than a collection of fears. I'd like to set aside my doubts, and those painful whispers - just to have a moment to lay myself bare. There is a quiet part of me that yearns to express everything. My hopes, my dreams... I want to feel secure enough in myself that I speak my truth. ...but it feels like I'm drowning in silence. Being » Continue Reading
I'm so mad at myself..
Category: Blogging
I fell down the stairs a few days ago when I was walking my puppy. ( No, he was not hurt. He was already downstairs and playing in the grass. Not anywhere near where I fell.) Due to my epilepsy, neurological issues, and fibro my legs have begun to randomly give out on me. Even my hands whenever I'm holding onto something. So when I fell head over heels after my legs gave out, ( thankfully I didn't... » Continue Reading
I think I'm slowly going insane..
Category: Blogging
Having disabilities sucks. I'm either spending too much time in my room, curled up in bed and sleeping. ( Or trying to sleep, due to my insomnia causing me serious issues.) Or I'm hold up in my room, nestled in my chair, gaming until I can't think about the pain. Either way, I almost never leave this room. It's has a bathroom, I have a small stash of snacks near my desk. ( No, my room is never dir... » Continue Reading
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I wish I knew how to exist..
Category: Life
How do other's do it? Existing. I don't know how to feel, or do as others do. I've been stumbling through life. Unable to grasp emotions, or what it means to be without feeling empty. It hurts, and yet there's this hollow feeling in the pit of my chest. It's not difficult to mimic the emotions - but I don't get the full experience. Why am I like this? » Continue Reading
Insomniac thoughts..
Category: Blogging
I've never known how to properly make friends, or even how to nurture to those relationships. So many things went wrong. Different friendships broken due to misunderstandings, broken hearts and an overwhelming urge to keep them around. I spent so many nights questioning myself. Struggling to understand what happened and why they left. Going in circles, spiraling to the point where I collapsed in ... » Continue Reading
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Late night musings..
Category: Life
Whelp, sleep finally happened - but it still wasn't restful. Fibro patients never hit rem sleep, and though I woke periodically to check on Pabu and get him something to drink and a snack, I still didn't get good rest. I'm awake now, thanks to testosterone and pain. I can never get back to sleep once my body decides to be awake. This is the life path I chose. I wasn't expecting things to be like t... » Continue Reading