you smell of dead flowers
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https://blog.spacehey.com/lucita
Category: Life
It's difficult. I don't know where this belief came from. And it won't go away. It just won't. It doesn't matter if other people tell me otherwise. It just doesn't. And I feel guilty about that. I'm sorry that you feel compelled to make me feel better, it won't work. It just doesn't work. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth anything. I'm sorry. I wish I could be different. This is why I hide everythin... » Continue Reading
Category: Games
I downloaded an RE2 remake mod that lets you give Leon cat ears! It's actually a pretty complicated mod that lets you change various things about the game, from changing costumes to the speed at which your character runs. But all I really wanted was the cat ears! There is one problem though, and that is the fact that the cat ears aren't just an accessory apparently. They also give you infinite amo... » Continue Reading
Category: Food and Restaurants
I love tea so much, I love the process of making it, waiting for the water to boil, pouring it into my mug with the tea bag, waiting for a couple minutes, taking out the tea bag and pouring a bit of milk and a tiny bit of sugar. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
20 today... twenty... Not a teen anymore... Although, as always, there is nothing that changes on a person's birthday. The changes come all the time. I don't feel any different. The only thing that is different about today is the fact that I have to respond to texts and phone calls wishing me happy birthday. And that makes me so anxious. And I honestly don't know. I don't want to have to » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Do you ever just. Get so sleepy. So so sleepy. Ready to fall asleep. The sweet call of sleep. Just sleepy. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I never know when my body will suddenly feel terrible again, when my brain will betray me again. I can only hope to prevent it from happening soon, but it always comes back Doesn't matter why My brain is upside down Doesn't function properly I wish I could force it to listen to me It's like there's two of us in here » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I want to go make dinner but there's people in the kitchen, there's been people in the kitchen for hours and I thought they'd be gone by now, or I'd have had a window of time to go make dinner but there's been noise coming from the kitchen and people going in and out from there for hours so I can't go in there please leave please let me make dinner I'm so hungry and tired and I don't want to see a... » Continue Reading
Category: School, College, University
I've definitely been having a depressive episode. My anxiety has gone into override and turned into depression again. At least that's how I've always interpeted these feelings. Today I almost had a panic attack. I felt petrified, my body wouldn't move while the professor was explaining the new project brief to the class. I didn't want to be in that room. I wanted to run and not have to hear about ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Art and Photography
I just discovered how to attach photos here, so here's a drawing I made! I like drawing fanart for things I like ^ω^ » Continue Reading
Category: Games
Not to be horny on main BUT LEON S. KENNEDY CAN GET IT. I NEED TO GET THIS MAN PREGNANT. I'M LOSING MY MIND!!!!! I AM MENTALLY UNWELL!!!! It's funny because only a couple days ago I was having an existential crisis doubting my bisexuality, thinking I might be lesbian. AND NOW this man comes in and crushes those doubts to pieces!!! I NEED TO FUCK THIS MAN!!!!!! » Continue Reading
Category: Life
It doesn't matter what I do. How hard I try. There's just something fundamentally wrong with me I guess. People connect with others so easily, but I just never seem to click with anyone. Even when I think I've finally found someone I can become close with, there's always something that suddenly makes me realise that I was wrong for thinking that. Why is it so difficult? » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I'm bi... But am I bi? I heard about the lesbian manifesto (a document talking about how it's difficult for a lot of lesbians to let go of the societal expectation that they must be attracted to men), and I related to quite a few things that were in there... I generally consider myself more demisexual than completely bi, but maybe this is another way that I make myself believe I'm attracted to men... » Continue Reading
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