birthday

20 today... twenty...

Not a teen anymore...

Although, as always, there is nothing that changes on a person's birthday. The changes come all the time.

I don't feel any different.

The only thing that is different about today is the fact that I have to respond to texts and phone calls wishing me happy birthday. And that makes me so anxious.

And I honestly don't know. I don't want to have to do that, but at the same time I feel betrayed if my close friends don't send me a happy birthday message... Betrayed and forgotten...

I don't know when birthday became a bad day for me... I guess when my anxiety started being bad... and in middle school and high school, it was right during exam time... so I was studying always... so I don't really care for this day... I would rather celebrate halloween than this day....