"suffering!β"
24βπChile, vampire wannabe ΰΆ
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https://blog.spacehey.com/kanzenhanzai
Category: Blogging
I'm willing to keep the friendships and the peace but now i know who are my actual friends and who isn't. Now i know where the loyalties are and I guess years and hardships mean nothing when a stranger throws a tantrum that was the direct consequence of her own actions, but y'know what, whatever. honestly I'm glad everyone is showing their true colors and beliefs because now i know who to stand up... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I wish i was at santa monica right now. i have no reason to really wish that, i just had a flashback to that moment and i missed it. i wanna travel the world with my parents. they're all I really have. my head is killing me. i think i might have a fever, but I'm busy all day today. i want to be held so bad just a hug, just a cuddle. I can't. I've never even felt that. i want to be cradled. » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
why am i so stupid? every time i wait for others, it always ends wrong for me. why do i feel like this? why do i feel so much? why am i so stupid? i hate being autistic. i hate it. i hate feeling like this. i hate having meltdowns. i hate feeling THIS bad whenever something bad happens. I hate feeling like me. everything is so good till it isn't. then all the memories flood over and break me. it'... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
im so fucking pathetic. every love experience I've ever had has taught me that. i should probably really stay alone. it makes me so angry. why can't i have normal experiences like normal people? but then again, i do get to live crazy experiences. happy ones. my life is actually good. really good. so yeah, i guess I'm enjoying everything i have and mourning that I'll never have. my life is good. c... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
its funny to think that none of this would've happened if you (or anyone) had gotten me a ticket. so lowkey, this is all your fault? like. my crashout and my confession were a direct action of being completely destroyed that day. when you stripped me of my heart, i suddenly had nothing to lose. at all. yeah. fuck you. you pretended to be so worried about me that day. why? how could you abandon me ... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
in my dreams, you talked to me. i don't remember what you said. i remember it was two lines of dialogue, but i don't know what you said. I know it wasn't enough. In real life, it was way more awkward. We didn't talk at all, not even a "hello". And it's fine, that's how it has got to be from now on. We're no more than strangers with a friend in common. I hope I never have to see you again. I hate ... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Blogging
the air smells like September. it is only August, but the breezing winds remind me of those winds many years ago, the winds of my childhood, flying leaves and kites. i always wanted to fly a kite (and make one) with my dad, but we never did. i looked forward to it every year, and in the end, it never happened. I'm all grown up now, and I'm watching them grow old, too. i don't like it. i want to g... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i'm pretty sure i dreamt of los angeles today. WAIT. wait. it's coming back to me. Yeah. I remember now. I was in a random wooden shop. It felt like a random part of japantown in LA, and it was near the hotel too. (this place didn't exist, but it was around a place that did exist). mhmh. i was buying weed, it was a dispensary. I remember that. I remember i got out and my colleague from work was th... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Shibuya. why was i there in my dream? why do I remember? I was looking for a Saizeriya. I talked to you about that, once. You'll never get to know it. And I never got to show you. But I'll be there again, that's for sure. I was there with him. I got to show it to him. Why do I remember that day with Satoru so well? I still miss that free pizza. Oh that pizza was so good. Why did I dream of that pl... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
yesterday i had a dream of a trip with my friends. you weren't there. it was nice realizing that. in my subconscious, you're just gone. is that why i don't like thinking you still exist? In my head, you don't exist anymore. I like that. it was fun. even though i got lost, i still found my way back. i guess this is true both in my dreams and in reality. i need to stop thinking and take action. I'... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
12/08/25 sorry. i need to write here. I'm definitely high, very high right now, and i just need somewhere to put my thoughts. i can't stop thinking about... about everything. how could our friendship mean nothing to you? everything is fine now. everything is okay. we are no longer friends. we'll never talk or laugh again like we used to. because you didn't want to, because you didn't want me, not... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i think I've never been this upset over anything before. not for so long, anyways. I'm happy, my life is good, and I'm very blessed. but that's all thanks to my family, not to anyone else. and if you betray me again, I'm going to make sure you're never happy, not a single day of your miserable life. but you're on thin ice, struggling to stay afloat but at least you're TRYING, as for her, she simpl... » Continue Reading
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