Cat_ann

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"hope left me"

she/her

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Mood: Too many thoughts


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"I'll figure it out though"

Category: Life

everyone i know is nervous, sad, and poor they're too busy for life they have a job they're too stressed to live they lack a job they don't believe in the future except for a job they just want to exist they need a job some are too tired. some are too weak. some can't find the time. some have far too much time. and they keep saying, "I'll figure it out" but everyone i know is still nervous. but ev... » Continue Reading

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i thought i heard you say i like you

Category: Life

feelings are such a drag. emotions never really make sense to me anymore, not that they ever did to begin with, but now specifically feels like feelings never really got to know me. i dont know whats wrong with me. i feel stuck, unable to express anything i want to, fully incapable of holding meaningful conversations with those i want to with. when did this happen? a few months ago, circa septembe... » Continue Reading

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LAETIFICUS (Chapter 3)

Category: Writing and Poetry

!! !!CONTENT WARNING!! !! The following chapter contains depictions of medical imagery, vomiting, blood, and self harm. Her eye fluttered open slowly as she woke up from a deep sleep. Her mind was fuzzy, and she felt sick. She was lying in a n uncomfortabl e bed, with unfamiliar sheets and blankets, tucked around her tightly enough to feel suffocating. Her throat was parched and dry, and her head ... » Continue Reading

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4 Comments— 7 Kudos

A Conversation

Category: Writing and Poetry

(between two people who don't exist.) content warning: suicidal allusions. Say we’re the last two people on Earth, ...What are you talking about? Just hypothetically speaking. Maybe we’re the last two survivors of some crazy apocalyptic event, Or one day we wake up and everybody else is just gone, Or we come into being one day on an empty planet without our memories, What would you do? …I don’t th... » Continue Reading

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LAETIFICUS (Chapter 2)

Category: Writing and Poetry

!! !!CONTENT WARNING!! !! The following chapter contains depictions of self harm, vomiting and suicidal ideation. " There lies my body Staring you in the face" Her arms hurt. Her legs hurt. The void in her gut tingled and burned as it ached and throbbed against the inside of her skin. Every single part of her felt like it was on fire, like it was being ripped apart by a thousand needles. The tears... » Continue Reading

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LAETIFICUS (Chapter 1)

Category: Books and Stories

"Where are you going?" The figure turned around slowly, looking back at Marisa with an expressionless face. Their eyes were dark and empty, their lips curled upward into a forced smile. "I'm... leaving, I guess." Her sister replied after a moment. She looked down at the ground, shuffling her feet nervously as she tried to find the words to say. "...Will you come back?" Her sister shook her head si... » Continue Reading

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LAETIFICUS (Chapter 0)

Category: Books and Stories

!! !!CONTENT WARNING!! !! The following story contains themes of child abuse and neglect, mentions of alcoholism, and depictions of suicide/self harm. Please be aware of these things and please do not read this story if you are prone to suicidal ideation. Laetificus " The cool air Takes me back Just for a moment And I spend it all without realization I have to go back I have to go back" I returned... » Continue Reading

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breaking the habit

Category: Life

when i was a kid listening to Breaking The Habit in my moms car she was like adamant telling me that Chester was an addict because of the song's lyrics she was right but i dont think it was public knowledge at the time, i think the fact she is also an addict just tipped her off (also even if it was public knowledge i dont think my mom cared enough about linkin park to know it just off hand) what a... » Continue Reading

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poem(?) 2

Category: Writing and Poetry

CW: self harm references - Darkest -  A crimson mark across my arm  Rusted into dull brown discolor  It warms a void in my gut,  Tickles as it mutilates my tissue,  That straight-edge seeping slowly in,  A greusome glint within a fissure of deepest flesh,  Bleeding for my anxiety  Bleeding for my agony  Bleeding for my aching  Bleeding for the girl  For the girl that no one knew » Continue Reading

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poem(?)

Category: Writing and Poetry

 I wonder what's down that road?  They told me that it was deadly  They said there is a graveyard for the mind  That no one ever comes back from  "I buried my mother" you once said to me  I remembered everything, and asked if I could see  You told me, I should only listen  Listen to the whispers in the night  I am beaten  I am broken  I am scared  I am frozen  I am alone  I am weak  I am dirty  I ... » Continue Reading

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dream dream

Category: Life

my dreams have been getting stranger lately. nothing i can recount at the moment given its 4 am and i am struggling to maintain lucidity but it is something i am wondering about. its probably just the sleep deprivation, but i cant help but wonder. when i was a child i once had a "dream" in which i was laying in bed and day turned to night like a lightswitch. i didn't realise it was a dream at the ... » Continue Reading

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pitch black at 5pm

Category: Life

time went back. didn't even really notice. someone ended up telling me. i have a strange relationship with the night. i love it, but i hate seeing day turn into it. something about it feels wrong. i wish i could live my life in the night. i think my body wants me to be nocturnal. i keep falling asleep later and later until its 8am and i'm going to bed and waking up at like 5pm. can i be a vampire?... » Continue Reading

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