sure, there've been men on the moon. but you ever gone to highschool? shit's hard. and I'm not talking skater slang for gnarly. it is currently 23:00 which means I've got some time to sit here for a lil bit and write a maybe entertaining entity of so-called "literature" (a word no one has used in the vicinity of spacehey, i'm sure). I'd like to start a column in a college paper (my eyes are glue... » Continue Reading
Madame Calm-Me-Down, I've been reading the paper ever since I could read and your column always seemed sort of stupid, if you don't mind my saying. I never understood why you would write letters through a newspaper because it seems like an unreliable mail system, as we have the US Postal service now. You seem like a nice mother-fucker, however that does not mean I'll puke my emotional guts into t... » Continue Reading
Yesterday I began a business in Spanish class where Nicolas Cage founds (and makes bi-weekly visits to) a library in Tulsa, Oklahoma that is only a front for an all-gender basement brothel. My spanish teacher wanted to make sure the basement brothel included both male and female individuals that the pocket-heavy patrons could drool over and objectify. The day before that I discussed the purchase ... » Continue Reading
"The Man Show did not age well." It's Monday (and i sure have a case of them). means Barry ran on hbo last night too. I was lucky my "stream over cellular connection" didn't pull a Humpty Dumpty and crack up on me. I was riding one of those shuttle buses down a very long island after my free trial of college. I have to start paying for college now, isn't that nuts? i don't wanna pay double thous... » Continue Reading
We're (driving) on the road to nowhere. Poppy's effect has been generally relaxing, in a toxic kind of way. It's hard to keep my eyes on the cars while she's smoking in the passenger seat (smoking hot that is). Malaise has descended (and I believe will remain hung) in the air around this entire month and probably the next one too.* *This is usually what we call in the biz 'senioritis' » Continue Reading
in the words of many people's favorite comedian, john mulaney: "since i last [wrote], different things have happened." here's some of those events in rapid fire: - i wrote a tv pilot - john mulaney hosted snl - Barry season 3's release date was announced - i got into college - i bought the newest strokes record (it came with a poster) - there is now a war in europe » Continue Reading
Now that I have finally, actually seen Last Night in Soho and can say that it is the least cliche Edgar Wright film he has ever mad. That was a terrible way to put it. What I mean is that this film was weirdly more mature than his past films, he showed great restraint in certain areas of his style (though I'm not sure if respecting the genre counts as restraint). The film was so clearly his and ye... » Continue Reading
Yes, i put my clocks in military time. I'm just that much cooler than you. Question: to people who don't know me, does my sarcasm drip through my voice, through my words, as well as I mean for it to? or am i just a massive asshole? I've got this history worksheet that's 2 weeks late that i'm supposed to be doing, but it's so infuriatingly straightforward that I have absolutely no motivation to d... » Continue Reading
While I listened to this album (again) earlier today (while washing dishes) I had many different thoughts; some bob dylan related, some from random free-association. so starting with: Sunday Morning : my mom always described this song as being really beautiful, but as I re-listened to it I noticed how extraordinarily unnerving it is. The distorted plinks of xylophone (which reside solely in the ... » Continue Reading
It's getting to the end of the trimester now, the end of November marks it. my school runs on a trimester schedule, which is very cool and matriarchal (not that that was their intention), but it also means there are pregnancy jokes to make down every avenue you turn. I could get pregnant in September and literally drop a baby out on graduation. imagine though, the valedictorian or whoever giving a... » Continue Reading
what's good? i thought i'd send out a message to find some like-minded people - find some friends, yknow. when i say friends i mean like people who'd go to thrift shops and buy tshirts ironically with me, or randomly make a punk-rock but occasionally midwestern emo garage band at 3am on a tuesday night. people who like films, people who've read Hamlet way too many times, people who identify with s... » Continue Reading
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