Hot-boxing a palm tree in Antartica (and other alternate realities)

it is currently 23:00 which means I've got some time to sit here for a lil bit and write a maybe entertaining entity of so-called "literature" (a word no one has used in the vicinity of spacehey, i'm sure). 

I'd like to start a column in a college paper (my eyes are glued to one too...its blinding, but funny to look at) that's just shitty hilarious advice. Sorta like a "Dearest Madame Calm-me-down" but like better and I would start. What if there were two writers? You never know which writer you're going to get: the serious writer or the joking writer. You could call it like "advice roulette" or something better because that is a shit title. 

my favorite Kanye lyrics is playing! "i wanna fuck you hard on the sink/after that i'll give ya something to drink/step back can't get spunk on the mink/i mean damn, what would jeromey romey rome think?" 

*sigh* casual misogyny is hilarious. (and you can quote me on that. maybe i'll be elected president.) 

I wore a radiohead tshirt and everything to school today and I never took off my Grateful dead hoodie to show it off! (i say, in mock frustration i.e. self-branding so the cool kids know where to find me)

Alternate reality: i didn't start writing this, i have something to say, and my favorite Kanye lyric is actually "i left my money in my other jeans/i ignored you in the hallway/please don't try to stab me while i'm eating/i indicate, but miss the turning anyway" which is from do nothing, aka Alternate Universe Kanye West. 

to answer your inexplicable question, no i did not go see Doctor Strange. from what I hear Sam Raimi was boned (by the studio, not a homosexual Hitchcockian cameo). 

***

In an alternative universe, I didn't spend the last 10 hours not really doing anything, I finished all my overdue work and can now relax and watch a film with no school-induced anxiety. It's not a very interesting alternative universe to anyone other than myself and my parents, though they would have no idea the universe was alternative as they always like to believe I am better than I am. I appreciate their sentiment. 

It is 20:22, which means that 2022 is stronger than ever before in the remaining 40 seconds. now 30. 

***

Every three stars means there's been another breach of time and the social construct surrounding it. Also known as, aka I put you away for a little bit by clicking minimize window. 

It's 23:23, I've barely done anything even though I stayed home to do homework today. I am just as mad as you are. And given that you have even more emotional investment in my graduation than I do (a farce!) I'm sure you're drooling for updates...strung out when there are none...a junkie to some idiot's procrastination briefs. 

I watched The Beatles' Yellow Submarine film when I was 10 years old, which should be a crime! The Blue Meanies terrorized me as a child and I'm not sure if i'll ever forgive my parents. 

In stark contradiction to the title, this is probably one of the most boring entries I've written lately. 

Fucking my haters right up the ass (affectionately), 

A marsupial riding a palm tree doobie high