"numb"
24|Loser
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https://blog.spacehey.com/colakun
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I used to go to the gym 4x a week, exercise just fine, get in my protein intake properly etc. When I started working corp tech -- I just get consumed by projects and deadlines, working overtime , hours on end without getting up AT ALL. As a result my blood circulation is terrible and my pelvic muscles are insanely weak. I've been exercising ever since it worsened to combat it finally lol. Also be... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I'm always thinking about the next things, how this could be done better, researching the "optimal" way to x and best way to do y. But then I spend more time wasted on researching, anticipating, planning, ruminating than actually doing. This is just a reminder to myself and for anyone else who needs it -- be present, stop overthinking and start doing. P.S. See below the video I came » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I'm deciding that 25-35 is my 20s. I finally sort of have enough money to go out once in awhile and socialize I guess. Just had to slave away for half my 20s. I don't want to grow up so I'm deciding for my own satisfaction/happiness that my 20s are from 25-35 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡤⠤⠤⠤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ » Continue Reading
Category: News and Politics
For anyone living in the US it is very apparent that in alot of non-walkable cities and/or suburbs -- there aren't many places you can call a "third space". Something I was thinking of, was to rent out an office space -- split the cost with a friend and share with the community. For those that earn a decent income to be able to do so, I suggest the same to y'all! I know you may say there will be... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
Sun to Mon I just slept. Literally all of Sunday, all of Monday -- just slept and had a variety of dreams. I dont know why I was so fatigued, or maybe I was depressed. I feel like I can't avoid these bouts of sleepiness. Everytime I have a good streak of optimism, enthusiasm and productivity in life --- I fall flat on my face again being lazy, unmotivated and fatigued, where the only thing I hav... » Continue Reading
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
Recently Ive been doing a good amount of decluttering and organizing of my apartment to prepare for an upcoming move. Excited to not have to deal with my asshole landlord anymore., I just hate the process of packing, moving etc. Feel like I've done it way too many times to count in thepast few years. I'd just like to have a few years of peace where I can call a place my home, and make it the way ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Feeling super overwhelmed by life. Whether its work or personal it feels like I have mile long list of things to do. Even when I get alot done, it feels like I barely did anything. Ofc usually I get stuck in a loop of procrastinating due to be overwhelmed and then ultimately do nothing. Something that's helped me lately at least has been challenging myself to think through the procrastination. W... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I came across an old playlist today. It was one comprised of songs I listened to a lot following my father's passing. The songs are melancholic, sad and lonely. Very reflective of my mental state at the time. I felt such profound depression, loneliness and grief that I couldn't put into words. I remember back then I was working 3 different jobs to support myself and my mom and brother as well as ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Art and Photography
Some sketches/doodles I did late tonight (early today?) using some random pose references from pinterest. » Continue Reading
Category: Art and Photography
Recently got around to watching the final episode of Arcane S2. At first I thought there was an overbuild of lore, however it paid off as the ending episodes themes really resonated with me. What lengths will you go to for the greater good, even if that means killing your loved ones or those closest to you? What I was left wondering was how did they grapple with the fact afterwards? In terms of th... » Continue Reading
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Category: Art and Photography
Been trying to get back into the things I used to love. Art being one of them. I'm a little sad I lost my skill and I'm not as good as I used to be but trying to not force myself to be perfect to pen to paper. A lot of the stuff I've made sucks but I'll get better or close to as good as I used to be I hope. » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
Been learning to forgive myself and those around me a little more. I know my mom and dad acted the way they did is for the same reason I do the same. They suffered the cycle of abuse from those who were supposed to give them foundation/support. I think I’m gonna try to get a little better. I took the first step and got evaluated and am at least taking medication. » Continue Reading
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