hello. today was an emotional shitshow. i got to hang out with my two closest friends together for the first time in a year. we went to the beach, played card games, and had a great time. but it all came to a screaming halt when we were watching a movie and doing a stupid game. we were watching transformers (the hilariously stupid michael bay live action one) and were doing what was essentially a ... » Continue Reading
hi. sorry about that last one. this last few days have been so much better since the death spiral. i watched the new superman movie with a friend. i didn't think it was possible for a movie to fill me with such hope for the future, but somehow they fucking did it. i left that theater wanting to be a better person with an optimism about our current situation that i didn't before. i don't know how. ... » Continue Reading
I CANT FALL BACK INTO THAT SHIT BUT I DID IT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE I REALLY SHOULDNT HAVE OH GOD well thats what i get for not getting enough meds before coming back home its my own fault thats ok i set the bed on fire and now i have to lie in it itll be fine yeah i havent felt like this in like a yeaar how did i use to do this oh shit oh fuck hahaha its almost ufnny in a way crazy shit i ... » Continue Reading
"There's no way it can get worse" that's the same thought I've had every morning for about the last month. Every day I check the news and am almost always proven wrong. Donald Trump has somehow managed to not only build a concentration camp in Florida, publicly state that the new democratically elected mayor of New York should be arrested and deported, and sign a bill that strip millions of food a... » Continue Reading
well well well it had to happen eventually. I'm back home for the summer. I am once again confined to the middle of nowhere. Oh well, it won't be forever. Honestly it's kind of worse because I've had that taste of the "good life". My good friend graduated from high school yesterday. I am so happy for him. He's been through so much shit this year, he really needs to just get away. Today he left for... » Continue Reading
I TOLD YOU THESE AREN'T GONNA BE ALL DOOM AND GLOOM, BUT THIS ONE IS GONNA HAVE SOME. The last few months have been hell to say the least. Every single thing has come back to haunt me in some way, shape, or form. I've already ranted enough about those though (see previous blog posts if you feel so inclined). Instead I wanna talk about the overwhelming fear I feel for the future. And it's not just ... » Continue Reading
I think I have an iron deficiency. It's been getting really bad as of late. I stand up and get super light headed. Mostly I'm able to stop for a bit and recooperate, but there are a few times where I've hit the floor. I should probably get that checked out but ehh I'm sure it's fine. My old friend group has succumb to the classic friend group divorce with some added gasoline on top to truly set ev... » Continue Reading
Hello again So tonight I went to a monday night mystery movie. Sometimes on mondays the movie theater near me will show a random upcoming unreleased movie for a whopping $5. It's sort of become a thing to go with friends and it's almost always a great time. Tonight however was a little different. The movie was Companion, a movie about a sex robot gaining self awareness and eventually killing her a... » Continue Reading
As the last post stated I've been having a weird time since being home. Well shit gets weirder let me tell you. So around 2 months ago I get a test from my friend asking if I had heard "the news". Me being in a completely different state and barely keeping in contact with people since leaving high school respond no. Turns out someone who was a grade below me (was a senior this year) had passed awa... » Continue Reading
Well here we are again. It's the year 2025 and my god has it started off with a bang. I've officially survived my first semester of college and holy fuck I love it. I've met so many lovely queer folks, I've seen a bunch of live music, I've actually explored new styles. I'm from a small town in the middle of nowhere, so being in a city has opened my eyes to just how much there is to do in the world... » Continue Reading
Yesterday I said goodbye to my friends. This was the closest to people I have ever been in my entire damn life. I knew this day was coming. Logically I knew it was unavoidable, but emotionally I had never really processed it. We spent a good chunk of Thursday together, all 5 of us. It just further reinforced how much I love all those bastards. One of them has been my closest friend for 7 years. We... » Continue Reading
In about a week and a half I'm getting ready to leave for college. It's a weird feeling. I currently live in a small town, but am going to school in a big city. It's going to be bizarre but I'm excited. There's so many people that I will just never see again, which is even weirder when you consider that I've seen these people almost most days for years (other small town people, you know what I mea... » Continue Reading