Winter Break in the New Year

Well here we are again. It's the year 2025 and my god has it started off with a bang. I've officially survived my first semester of college and holy fuck I love it. I've met so many lovely queer folks, I've seen a bunch of live music, I've actually explored new styles. I'm from a small town in the middle of nowhere, so being in a city has opened my eyes to just how much there is to do in the world. 

But after all that here I am on winter break once again in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. So what have I been up to? I reunited with my good electric guitar, which made me realize how much I missed guitars that weren't thrown together by myself. I modded an IPod Video with the open source software Rockbox so if Apple ever kills off IPod support the damn thing won't become a paperweight. I made a new fursona (Bird the Axolotl!) that I will hopefully stick with this time. I've even been going back through my vinyl and tape collection, just listening to it all. I've severely missed my stupid collection of plastic discs and magnetic rectangles.

It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows sadly. A lot of the negative things I though I had grown from came screaming back. I've had several emotional breakdowns as a result of late night doomscrolling and isolation. On top of that I remembered the oh so fun dynamic I have with my family. I exist as a mask to them (don't make a dream joke don't make a dream joke). There is very little of my true self that I feel I portray to them because I know it would just land me in further hot water. Instead of facing that confrontation I just avoid it entirely. I survived 18 years like that, I can handle a couple more weeks. I know, that's a terrible way to look at things, but hey it works.

In other fun news remember that friend group I mentioned in the last blog post? For a couple of months that shit was SHATTERED!!!! Because 2/5ths of the group had left for college and a cheating scandal everything went to hell for a bit. It's recovered minus a person but it will never be the same. Also only me and one other person are actually in the state. One left for college early as to visit family in Utah and the other left right after school ended for a vacation in Australia. Wild.

Anyway I hope you're doing well. Try not to die and I'll see you whenever :)