This one is for the troops An Iraqi military unit was out on a desert patrol, when they came to a hill. A voice cried out to them from the other side saying, "one U.S. Marine could kill 10 Iraqi soldiers" The commanding officer, amused, sent 10 of his soldiers over the hill. Gunshots rang out for a few minutes, and then it went silent. Again the voice shouted out, "One U.S. Marine could easily kil... » Continue Reading
I am running out of ideas, please send help A koala and a lizard are sitting in a gum tree, smoking a joint. After a little while, the lizard's mouth got dry, so he told the koala he was going to go drink some water at the river. He got to the river, hopped up on a log, and started drinking water. In his state of intoxication, he lost his balance and fell into the river, quickly being swept away. ... » Continue Reading
A man discovers through a friend that his wife has been cheating on him. Furious, he goes to the bar she frequents, holds up a gun, and shouts "I have a Colt 1911 chambered in 45 ACP. There's a round in the chamber and 7 more in the magazine. Now I want to know who here has been sleeping with my wife!" The crouwd goes quiet for a few seconds, vefore a voice in the back cries out, "Youre gonna need... » Continue Reading
A man boarded a plane for a transatlantic flight and found he was seated next to Albert Einstein. They exchanged pleasantries and the plane took off. After a while, Einstein suggested a game. If Einstein asked the man a question he didn't know the answer to, he would have to give Einstein $5, and if the man asked a question Einstein didn't know the answer to, he would give the man $500. The man ag... » Continue Reading
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a couple drinks, and after a while he's shooting pool with another bargoer. His monkey hops off his shoulder and onto the table, walks over to the 8 ball, and swallows it whole. The bartender sees this and asks the man "Did you just see that? Your monkey just ate the 8 ball whole!" The man replies "Doesn't surprise me, he eats practically every... » Continue Reading
Thinking about making this a Friday thing, this is the second week in a row I've been late, my sincerest apologies. A British pilot named Jacob is shot down over Germany in world war 2. He bails out and is taken captive by the Germans. They take him to their prison camp. Winter is raging on, and conditions in the camp are harsh. Jacob is the only prisoner that speaks English, most of the others b... » Continue Reading
Sorry I'm a day late on this one, its been a busy week Two Canadians die and go to hell. After about a week, the devil checks up on them. they're hanging out, laughing, and having a grand ol' time. The devil asks "what is going on here? This is hell! You are supposed to be suffering!" The Canadians reply "well where we come from, it gets down 20 below in the winter, so we're enjoying the heat. How... » Continue Reading
A little boy was playing in his parent's room, when his mother comes home unexpectedly. Knowing he's not supposed to play in his parent's room, he hides in the closet. His mother comes in, kissing a man who wasn't his father. He watches for a few minutes, when his father comes home. The mother shoves the man into the closet and goes downstairs to greet her husband. "Dark in here" says the boy, sta... » Continue Reading
You'll have to forgive me for today's joke of the week, it is a bit crude. A drifter was walking down a country road, when he came upon a farm. He went to the house, knocked on the door, and an old farmer answered. The drifter said he would give the farmer 3 days work in exchange for 3 meals a day and a place to sleep at night. The farmer agreed, but there was no room in the house, so he told the ... » Continue Reading
Thinking of starting a joke of the week section, here goes nothing i guess. Back when I was in college, I had this roommate. Joe was his name. He kept to himself mostly, we didn't talk much. Even the basic stuff like what his major was, where he was from, what he wanted to do, never really came up. Now around this same time, I had a girlfriend. We were getting pretty serious, and I was getting rea... » Continue Reading
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