Joke of the week #7

A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a couple drinks, and after a while he's shooting pool with another bargoer. His monkey hops off his shoulder and onto the table, walks over to the 8 ball, and swallows it whole. The bartender sees this and asks the man "Did you just see that? Your monkey just ate the 8 ball whole!"

The man replies "Doesn't surprise me, he eats practically everything he sees. Don't worry, I'll pay for the ball"

The next week, the man comes back with his monkey. He orders his drinks and sits down at a table. His monkey climbs off his shoulder onto the table. The monkey picks a peanut out of the bowl on the table, shoves it up its butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender, astonished, looks at the man and asks "Did you see what your monkey just did? That's disgusting!"

The man replies "Well after shitting out that pool ball last week, he's started measuring"