the creator - what do you want your legacy to be? creo yo que todo ser humano tiene la necesidad de ser alguien, no porque sea parte de nuestra "naturaleza", sino por la manera en la que se nos ha criado -- la organización escribe y vende. el héroe comienza de dos maneras diferentes: como esperanza o como distracción, últimamente fundiéndose en uno y llegando a lo que es ahora. el héroe y la idea... » Continue Reading
712 saturday i think i am positively loosing my mind. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, and i didn’t use to care, but now i am getting worried because my mind has been going on and off incessantly and it’s painful and i hate it. i feel like i feel, but i also really don’t. my feelings are more those of euphoria, disgust and anger, a lot of sadness, but i don’t think i can experience happiness. m... » Continue Reading
505 like the arctic monkeys song tuesday or thursday i knew myself well enough to know that i’d end up like this: stressed, immensely depressed and feeling stuck, as if i was held in a box against my will, bored out of my damn mind. i did talk to him, we made up and have been going on several outings and spending a good, nice time—i love it, it’s all i was missing. he knows me, the real me, the tr... » Continue Reading
i won’t even fucking bother. i jinxed myself, or i am insane and do have a personality disorder, it doesn’t matter—i want to break up, and i want to talk to my ex-best friend and i miss him and in everyone i meet i try to find pieces of him but his ghost evades me. my best friend and i talked for a couple of hours and she told me that the thing that hurt her the most regarding her break up was no... » Continue Reading
933 as i think and write saturday it’s been quite a while since i’ve written here, but the website itself hasn’t been forgotten. i’ve thought about writing, but i am superstitious person which makes me believe that if i write in here everything i’ve built up to in my life would crumble down, leaving me with more rage to self-destroy and whatnot. but then again, our lives are out of our control and... » Continue Reading
saturday 324 a lot of things have happened, as they always do and are expected to, since i last wrote. i started another college semester, i got massively drunk which is never a surprise, i went out with friends and guys and obviously reconnected with an ex that i’d rather never see again. i am stuck in a cicle that has recently turned a dramatic turn, and that is: tomorrow. there’s a gathering a... » Continue Reading
1113 and i am dead tired sonntag nine days after my last blog, i’ve come here to write once again, this is unheard of—maybe it’s the start of a new me. as of now, 2024 has been kind and noble to me. i’ve read seven books and am currently on my eight, which only means that i have nothing to do but lay in bed and watch movies while marinating the last book i read. i went out to eat and watch a movie... » Continue Reading
freitag 809 i have not the slightest idea if anything i’ve previously written is grammatically correct, or if it makes any sense. i do not care for it, at least i’m making an effort. this is my last post for the year, which is neither cathartic nor interesting considering that i sporadically write here, and when i do i make bare sense. anyway, my life has been good. i am visiting my mothers’ famil... » Continue Reading
125 as i write saturday samstag i think i got lasik. femtolasik, to be precise, a couple of days ago. it was kind of an impulse decision my father did, he told me about it some weeks before i finished my semester and i agreed because i thought that he was just joking—he wasn’t. the procedure in itself wasn’t bad, too numbing and calm, my surgeon was great and the recovery has been going smoothly,... » Continue Reading
samstag did i get that right? 320 as i write my semester’s near done, and maybe i was too harsh of a judge. it took some months to get me accustomed to the wonders of public transportation and packed schedules, but once i did, well, i kind of enjoyed it. mainly because it didn’t give me time to think. now that i’m thinking again, i believe i am going demented. my mother and i discussed (gossip wou... » Continue Reading
257 thank the gods sunday it’s been hectic, and horrendous. the weather’s too cold, the semester only has like 2 weeks left and i do not know what i’ve been doing. after breaking up with my girlfriend, i’ve been getting into the weirdest situationship of my life (he’s cute, so it’s a fun bonus) and i’ve also been going out on dates with this “medium ugly” guy that i used to know from high school.... » Continue Reading
653 as i write this dienstag only because i set my phone to german things went down since i last updated this thing. first of all, possibly the most important one: i broke up with my girlfriend, all after deep talks with some friends and meeting this guy at one of my university’s libraries—nothing happened with the guy, it was more like an excuse to realize i needed to let go. aside from that, i ... » Continue Reading