november 2024

821 freitag 

just now i've come to remember this bullshit of a blog. 

so, yes, what plagued my year was anorexia and bisexuality, one induced by the other. and i decided to get on the hard and awful road to recovery, put on some healthy weight and accept that i am a lesbian, and now everything's better with my head. 

i am still a deplorable and mean woman, that's all me, but now i am less manic and more conscious of everything that i do and say. which is why i've not written here--i'm close to being normal.

alas, i felt a sense of...kinship (?), or responsibility, to this blog, to keep it updated and see how far i've come in terms of my own self-destruction. i've done well enough, i fucked myself up by a lot more than i had intended, and yet i always find myself afloat, with friends, good grades, a good job, and the complete utter feeling of emptiness that shall never leave and that i'll keep on wanting to fill with unrequited love. 

i have also not read a lot, but i'm trying to make up for it by reading a little day by day.