"Eating Luci's Wallet"
17, American/Tajik, He/It
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Category: Life
This morning, I fell trying to get down from my loft bed. hand still hurts, but I dont see a bruise. I cant move my thumb backwards without pain. Waiting for the scaries to leave. but its like theyre set on living in the kitchen. Spent all day scrolling. Keep stumbling. Dropping stuff. My muscles are really tense. Weird. I remembered I had a ceasar salad from yesterday. Just finished it. I think ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
02:42 I wake up with my heart kind of racing. I smell bad. Something bothers me, and immediately I think about college, internships, how well my hair is going (I put dye on last night and fell asleep with it in), and other random things. .My breath is fast and shallow for someone that just woke up. Is it the sugar ive eaten? is something wrong with me? This never happens man. Yesterday I ran a lot... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
And so, it appears this may be coming to an end. Is it the beginning of a spiritual death, the leap into new forms, or really nothing in particular? Hell if I know. My duolingo streak ended. That owl had motivated me for 272 days, but using it isn't too helpful anymore. I must rely on myself to practice regularly. I don't even know how to practice anymore. Im not on devices too much anymore. My fa... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
We all take separate paths in life, none of them being right, none of us being sure. Some live a life of self-sacrifice and obedience, some focus on academic interests and careers, some most seek a partner, some want wealth or fame as always. I most seek simplicity. I feel odd in my path, separated from the rest. Being in an advanced school with highly academic people does that to you. I eat plant... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
5:32 the echos of my alarm ring in my ears long after it's gone. This day will be interesting. 09:12 things without patterns disturb me bad. The glitches in DDLC. Blue screens. EAS alarms. I'm on the bus to the MET. it's going pretty well. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
14:54 Legend came to talk to my new friend group about hear me outs. I suppose we just talk to the same people - but nevertheless, he ends up following me. I can't think with Legend around. Legend, legend, a threat, a bitter comfort, it all comes back. I can't have that anymore. I don't want it. But no matter what I think, no matter what I actually believe about him, he'll throw all my brain chemi... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Life
5:03 Cleaned my arm up and re-wrapped it. Ate cheese. 10:36 Recently, school topics that I don't find engaging have straight up been putting me to sleep. I slept a full 10 hours last night and I'm still sleepy in math. The guy's jaw muscle moves a lot, the one next to me. 12:56 I had an MRE. italian sausage in tomato sauce. Not good, not bad. The idea was really fun. Lots of snacks and stuff, very... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Trigger warning Käfer breakdown, violent actions/thoughts toward self and others 08:31 History class teaches us how to protest. Its supposed to be about desegregation, but there is heavy emphasis and detail on ways to protest as a people. I wonder if our teacher chose to teach it like this for a reason. Its great to see how much power we hold as individuals together. As the » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Bob's alarm woke me up. I relaxed, draw a bit. It was dark for a long time. I heard the crows before I heard them. I don't know what it is about their calls, but out of all the sounds in the world, that is the one I can always make out. I successfully skipped most of first period - my main office has mistakenly sent me off to the testing room early. I tried to sew my shoe together, but figured its... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Life
Just had the feast of my life. I had cheese, cream, kefir, yogurt, strawberry lemonade, and even made myself peanut butter tapioca pearls for drinking with more cream. Boy, i am so going to have cholesterol issues when im older. I keep eating the rice cakes and small bits of grains here and there. Im hoping, somehow, I can get away with eating multiple in one go. My blood sugar right after eating ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
It had been a while since ive written, it feels. The wind blows in my vents, an occasional bird comes by. People downstairs. I hang out with them, but I hate them more and more. Its a front, always just to get something. I need her to buy me more food. Sometimes I do it to force her to acknowledge that I am a capable human being. That i'm smart and i'm tough. I think I just make her think im weird... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Nothing to complain about. Have food, have glucose testing strips. I have a jar of nuts, peanut butter, cheese. Just had some yogurt. All the yogurt, rather. I'm concerned about my insulin resistance. it's damn near impossible to eat 3 things and be okay with it. I don't eat veggies. I keep craving lemons - not a great sign for my nutrients. I got disqualified from Horticulture Expo again. But lis... » Continue Reading
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