"Eating Luci's Wallet"
17, American/Tajik, He/It
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Category: Life
I won't go to Bingo's mom in the morning anymore. They told me I shouldn't do that, but they didn't seem mad. Just discouraging. I cried on that chair, staring at the wall. I stared at their little sisters bag. The sunlight shone through my tears, highlighting my tears as they fall. I shrink back, avoiding it. Espurr/Soybean made us cookies, and gave me the money. They're cool like that. I have ga... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
Gir came before I woke up. I feel weak. I haven't showered. We have no water. I move on. I made us ice cream cones, but in my half-conscious state, I accidentally licked both of them. I had 2 vanilla ice creams for breakfast. I see how self-deprecating Gir is. She never was quiet about it, as if she wants you to know. Or maybe she already knew I was onto her. Or maybe she just really needed to tal... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I jump at everything, it's sort of ridiculous. Legend turning to talk to me made me flinch, the fire drill made me hop - twice, and every person and noise is to be looked at before I go back to what I'm doing. Well. There's that I guess. I withdraw into comfort and impulses that betray my morals. I am still outside of home at 21:10, but I'm yapping and stuff. I liked yesterday a bit better for tha... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I regretted it so much that night. Hypothermia, lack of food,.lack of water, lack of everything, cops might be after me. I ended up wandering 2 hours down into the neighboring town, just not to freeze to death. In all black clothes - safe to say I did not feel safe. I stayed at their highschool, technically trespassing, but there's lights and cameras, and I told my father I'm at a friend's house s... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
After some thought, I don't really know what I prefer. If I stay home at all, then I have no freedom. If I stay outside, well, it's pretty uncomfortable. weather is hot or cold, and it's quite unsafe in most areas. I also need to sleep. If only I was 18 and could stay at someone else's house. But I'm getting a job. I'll ask Mr. Force about it. Money is my way to freedom. 06:54 I'm at the library.... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I had spent a couple days outside, and I appreciated the experience. It's calm, solitary, dark. But I can't say I didn't feel joyful when I got back home. Finally, a place to sleep, comfort, safety. Imagine how well it'll be when I have my own house. An unexpected bowl of strawberry and watermelon waits for me on my side of the counter. An unwelcome sign that I'm loved at home despite everything.... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
The birthday of an evil dictator, weed day, and easter fall on the same day. Me and bob went to see the movies. Free bagels. Lola told me I gained weight and look a lot better. Said I looked sad and skinny before. Im comforted to know not everybody sees weight as a bad thing. Might as well pack some pounds before becoming a poor student overseas. I must figure out a way to pass school. Preferably ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
05:57 woke up to an auditory hallucination of funky bass. It was a deep dream with many layered meanings. Not sure why I woke up. 09:51 you've heard of waking up by rooster, now try waking up by woodpecker trying to eat your house. poor woodpecker. 20:52 A hare running alone. Chased, chasing, hungry, hungered. Cold, exposed to the elements ruthlessly. The weather is unforgiving and the the wind is... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
Learning morse code. Do I think it's really cool and want to brag to everyone and get everyone interested so I can communicate with them? yes. Do I want nobody to know and wish the words "morse code" never left my mouth? yes. I had a lot of sweets, did a couple things. Back to demonology, back to Prince Stolas. I trust him and no one else. He has taught me much, given me opportunity to learn too.... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Yesterday was just as miserable as Friday, my throat hurts, my food is unopened, I fell asleep 18:00 and woke up at 21 My breath smells bad. I smell bad. Why are they up so late? And then it hits me. They'll be up late all spring break. The entire week. Only way to withstand their evil, cruel eyes, is to go nocturnal. I could fall asleep at 14:00, wake up around 00:00. Or I could fall asleep at 4... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
Yesterday, I had a meeting in school with my parents. They were told I'm on the path to fail, and I got asked, "what's your plan?" I didn't answer. My parents "accepted" I'm not graduating. Didn't even make me go to school next morning. Didn't wake me up, didn't yell at me, nothing. We also had a social worker come home and talk to me, because I was begging for some privacy in the kitchen. I don't... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
02:04 I feel small, still. I whimper at the absence of my friends. Not because I genuinely miss them - I miss the attention and interaction. The fun. The depth. I should feel good alone, in the dark. But im stressed still. If I make a noise, I'll get violent yelling my way. The coffee makes me anxious, I think. I feel a sort of flowing weight to me now. I feel the way I did in the past. With Lege... » Continue Reading
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