π±ππ: I'm Samantha. I'm using this site a personal blog site, seeing as people I know IRL don't know about it. I never know what to add as an introduction. I'm very private, and what ever I post here are usually just thoughts and things like that, some are from my life, some are thoughts I've had on my mind for long enough that I needed to vent about it. I may update this introduction as I think of... » Continue Reading
This is the post I will be referring to when I use nick names in my blog here. You'll know who I'm talking about with this handy key here. Crush/guy I'm talking to everyday: W Grandma: Granny Dad: dad Coworker whos my supervisor: C coworker whos my manager: D coworkers in no particular order : AM, AW, T, J, E, EM, K, JR, and I'll add more as i think of them. Friends. AL, KB. and I'll add more he... » Continue Reading
I wonder if I should start using a date for these. It might be the smart thing. It would be nice to keep track, especially after the day I've had. Well, my grandmas had. She got a very sad call today, her older sister passed away today. The sisters son was the one who found her. She was 83. She lived alone. I can't imagine the pain my grandma is going through today. Of my family who was closest ... » Continue Reading
So I finally added an intro to my blog. I'll update it as I go with this. I'm surprised I'm able to keep a journal. Its nice having somewhere to vent to About yesterdays entry. Sometimes the dark thoughts can be so strong. I'm recovering as a person who used to self harm. I haven't in about 5 years, but some days I feel it so overwhelmingly strong, that I just want to hurt myself with something sh... » Continue Reading
Another bad day of course. I dont know if I'm just depressed or what, but it sucked again today. Maybe I'm just meant to be miserable. I see everyone my age getting their shit together and then theres me; nothing to my name. No one to call my own. Honestly, maybe I should just die. » Continue Reading
I'm gonna try to update this everyday at least once. I need to keep up with basic things like this if i hope to form habits. I want to start working out my stomach, and need to keep up with habits like this. My mood was better today, more than it has been. I can really notice when I have a down day. Yesterday I felt like crying all day, and the day before I was so frustrated with everything. But ... » Continue Reading
I did start my period today. So far its been hard. Yesterday was so rough on me, and I'm so happy that I don't have work. I also think from having a full ton of responsibilities I'm just burnt out. Since my grandma broke her ankle on both sides of one leg I've had to take care of her. I feel like the better part of a year I've had to take care of her. I don't mind doing it but I'm also doing every... » Continue Reading
Had a bad day today, cried alot. Was in my feels alot. i want to just relax and i feel like it cant. I also think Im close to my time of the month and it been making me super loopy, so that would explain alot. I suppose ive been getting in my head alot, or almost nothing. Ive been cranky all day and ive been thinking too hard about stupid things. Like i can't help it sometimes. Sometimes im just i... » Continue Reading
I'm finally done with the holidays. Its january 2nd, and I'm happy to be done with everything related to the holidays. This year everything was on my back. I had to cook two dinners for my family, and it i also cleaned my grandmas entire first floor minus the bedrooms. It was so much work. I dont mind doing it either, but damn. Ive also been in my ouw feelings a little bit recently. About W. I thi... » Continue Reading
Its a little under one and half hours into 2025. I was invited to a party to attend today, but i said I had other plans, which wasnt true. I just didnt feel like going out, partly because it was super late notice, partly because i didnt have a secure way to get home, and partly because I just wanted to spend time with him. I think I need to make a key for who I'm referring to, like using emojies ... » Continue Reading
Nothing really to report. But I can feel myself burn out x.x Ive been so busy with personal stuff that Ive been ignoring my friends. Well, the important people anyways. Some guys who wanted my attention finally settled on other girls and i hope they stop bugging me. I was being nice and replying to them but now I dont have to. Its nice to just not have to have that worry at the back of my head. ... » Continue Reading
So I've been ignoring this site, and I think its time to just use this as a vent space. I've been single for almost 2 years now, and I don't have any motivation to date anyone. I'm busy with personal stuff, but also I'm afraid of opening myself up like that to someone again. My last relationship ruined my mental health. well, all of my last relationships did. My most recent ex completely shattered... » Continue Reading
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