seventh entry.

I'm gonna try to update this everyday at least once. I need to keep up with basic things like this if i hope to form habits. I want to start working out my stomach, and need to keep up with habits like this. 

My mood was better today, more than it has been. I can really notice when I have a down day. Yesterday I felt like crying all day, and the day before I was so frustrated with everything. But now I'm feeling more regulated which is nice. 

I have a shift tomorrow, and I think I'll be able to do it just fine. Its a morning shift and I'll be out of there nice and quick. My boss though has told me that I will be working evenings for a while, and i hope my grandma will be okay when I wont cook. I'm gonna be out working late, like until 1030 pm late. Ugh. I hate evening shifts so much, but I need these shifts if i want a promotion. I want supervisor so badly. 

An old friend deleted their discord, and I can't say Im surprised. If and when they do come back, I may or may not accept them. I'm at a point in my life where I just don't care if people leave. Like this one jack ass who would get super mad at me and flip out if I didn't respond fast enough for his liking. He'd delete me and then re add me. I got so fucking sick of it I finally lost my cool and told him to fuck off. I hate jackasses that throw tantrums when I don't respond. I don't owe any of you fuckers a response. And by "you fuckers" I mean the drones of men trying to get my attention. I just do not care at all. I am not interested in meeting or hanging out with any of them. Anyways that was a tangent. I do hope he's okay though, the one I mentioned at first in this paragraph. 

I've also been feeling myself becoming more toxic towards girls in gaming. I suppose its because I'm tired of taking the highroad, and I'm being toxic back. I'm so sick of girls constantly demanding attention from every dude they come across. Like this one girl, lets call her kandi, she's this "Oh im so cute and innocent" and she speaks like "sowwy" and shit like that. Its so fucking cringe. What's worse is that all these idiot boys fully simp over her, practically begging her for her attention. So I started commanding the lobby we chat in and asked the simps questions about them. I fully drew all the away from her and she claimed to have gotten bored and logged off. She even admitted in chat that she "jealous and competitive" towards me and that she's "sowwy" about it. Like. girl. No ones competing with you. I'm fucking around and showing how easy it is to steal the spot like from a bunch of idiot boys. 

anyways. I guess I've just been in my feelings still. I really wanted to play in my makeup today but thanks to my period I broke out on my face. Pimples and makeup dont work.