its kinda funny that youre the only thing that makes me feel alive but when im around you i want to die more than anything. i think the only thing it proves is that i cant be honest (with me, with you). i bite at the hand that feeds me and catch air between my teeth, where the zipper of your jeans shouldve been. youre running out of time, true blue boy, and im running out of reasons that say its o... » Continue Reading
its not that i want (to be) him. i just find myself wishing i could be you. i want our hands to look the same. i want to match the color of your eyes. i want to look at me and know what you think about. maybe its weird. i get that way when im away from home for too long. its just easier to pretend i dont exist when everything i am is you. sometimes it feels like i barely know you (me), like im onl... » Continue Reading
somehow im stuck in august 365 days of the year no matter how many mondays pass me by. kelly green to crying yellow. ive always thought it said something that i lost that four leaf clover after pressing it between the pages of the heaviest book i own. i think about running away more often than i think about staying for the people i love, and i wonder what theyd think if i told them ive been giving... » Continue Reading
what would you do if you could go back in time? i think about it only because im guilty. i try not to process anything else, anything truer. every quiet reminder of i love you (or dont). i cannot meet your gaze, i cannot stare at the blood on my shoes, so what am i supposed to do? friends who are stars, friends who are black holes—they all burn up (or burn out). maybe next time will be different. ... » Continue Reading
im in a place so far from home so ill write you a letter ill pretend ive never seen before when i wake up in a bed thats mine and still feels like someone elses. gospel of a hotel bible, empty like a promise. i cant tell what i want but its not this and its never this. make it easy, take it easy, take a trip. pulses on our fingertips and hearts in our throats, words stuck between tongues and teeth... » Continue Reading
grip my throat and watch my face turn untrue blue. bitter reminders and unshakable guilt. anesthetic love, you and me. maybe not love, something closer to ruining you and kissing self destruction. maybe not anything at all. no x or o tonight. i cant give you that. » Continue Reading
you dont love me, you love the part of me thats like you. what you dont know is that im really just a liar, that it all slips through my teeth before it goes to my head and the words are sharp enough to make my lips bleed. red and true blue. i dont mean to not mean it, you know that. im no better than that. hurricane boy and broken songbird. i wish it would stop hurting like i have it when i dont.... » Continue Reading
90 degrees, broken acs. i think it all started with a feeling in my gut that i told myself was motion sickness but i know better than that and you do too. i can taste the bitterness on your tongue, in the way that too hot feels cold, and i wish i never tasted it at all even though its the only thing in the world i want and i drink it down like ill die without it. in lulls of conversation i wonder ... » Continue Reading
i wanna feel the dirt and grime under your skin, want you to kiss me like you hate me, like i know you do. i want it tongues and teeth and papercuts. i never wanted it gentle but your knuckles are bruised like a watercolor work of art and the way they punch my teeth out is the prettiest thing ive seen. you make me bleed in the best ways. like peering through keyholes, like a voyeur looking through... » Continue Reading
youre a bad habit that i cant seem to quit. every whisper sounds like sweet talk and every response i stutter out is a prayer to whoevers listening that i wont lose this. i only want you to think of me like i do of you: in the dark, all alone, unable to shut off your brain. i want the shadows to say my name, again and again, for you to want them to. give me your all so when youre gone ill have som... » Continue Reading
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