clandestine, he/him
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Category: Writing and Poetry
i dont see your ghost in the mirror. he doesnt knock down picture frames, he doesnt leave broken dishes. he lives in my ribcage, in the way my stomach sinks. hes a reminder of everything wrong with me. my broken, unlovable body. my unrepairable soul. hes a parasite, a disease, something unforgettable. he eats me from the inside out, grey matter on his fingers pulling my intestines. he leaves blood... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i dont know how to fall asleep or where to put my hands. in a world where im a surgeon, youre astrophysics. in you i see everything i know nothing about. a wonder, a mystery. youre so beautiful. we draw lines in the sand and when the tide washes over i find myself across it. in the mornings when you havent woken up i feel your heartbeat against my skin and count the seconds between your breaths be... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
if god is real he lives in your eyes. i worship you at the altar that is your body and i offer you my beating, bleeding heart as a promise to follow the scripture written in the wrinkles of your hand. you picture me like this in your mind because you want me to be the way you think i am. and the truth is i am anything but that. and it does hurt. it hurts more than anything in the world, because i ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
teenage going on extinct. im just waiting for a text that will never come. a love thats already passed me by. something that makes me feel like its worth it that im alive. singing boys dont cry like thatll fix the pit in my stomach and my hollowed out ribs, hoping for just a second that all the feelings will go away. the record keeps skipping and the world keeps spinning and if i keep on slipping ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
my entire life ive seen everything in black and white but you and i are colored in shades of grey. youve flipped my world upside down — ill ride that high til we crash and burn like we were made to. youre made of adrenaline and summer sweat and something sweeter than this town, tainted by (un)holy jealousy and soaked in sin. youre the furthest thing from god but my knees are still bruised with how... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
i spend most nights staring at the ceiling and watching the shadows shift and sigh and whisper. i wonder what they say. the walls beat in time with my heart, quickening and slowing and quickening again, blood spilling and pooling in sickening puddles on the floor. me and the friends in my head (never) go to sleep and dream up a way to wake up from this nightmare. somehow the terror feels more comf... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
you said we couldnt be found out. thats fine. theres a strange appeal in sneaking in and out your window, slipped notes and hushed whispers behind the bleachers. my hand in your back pocket and my lips on yours when no ones looking. the way i hold you close and tuck a kiss behind your ear, along your jaw, on your neck, hidden away where it can be never found or taken; a secret between you and i. i... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
what they dont know is its all tongue in cheek. get yourself busy with acting like you mean it before they start asking questions you know you cant lie about. this is(nt) a game and the scoreboard reads nothing now that the powers out. me: 0, you: 9. guess i should get better at saying no to you. for what its worth, you won fair and square. you just let it get to your head. the longer you pretend ... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
between secrets and lies were teardrops from your blonde eyelashes. wrap it up in your bedsheets like a not-so-pleasant christmas present. at some point hands and legs and mouths tangle into one and nothings tangible like it used to be. loosen the tape and punch out my teeth and watch how the cd stops fitting. i pen the words but they arent mine until theyre written in my blood, so cut me open to ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i beg, i choose, i lose. the bark is loud but the bite is pathetic at best. i get mean only like a kicked puppy does and i take what i can get. even if theres not the same desperation for love and for touch behind his kiss on my neck as there is behind the way i brush his hand with mine. give my nerves a fever and soothe them with an icepack in the same breath despite the hitch. fake it til you fa... » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 4 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
climbing over chainlink fences. hands unsteady the whole way up. scraped heels of hands covered in mud after hitting the ground. damp jeans and grass stains. rusted park playground sets. moonlight. flat soda. thrumming eardrums, throbbing headache. kiss you with my fist before crashing lips. open mouthed kisses, open minded rambles. desperation. muses. time slowed. always 11:11. i felt different b... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
wishes keep me faithless, the semisweet kiss of misery keeps me holding on. im not sure what keeps me up, staring at the ceiling and tracing patterns in the paint with my eyes, but it feels like ive been stuck in a labyrinth of late nights and smudged ink. its the polaroid remnants of you, i think, letters written in eyeliner and sealed with a press of your lips to the envelope with a heart sticke... » Continue Reading
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