"researching"
Ordinary and intelligent man from India
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Category: Life
Highlights Walking in the rain Watching the Idol Reading the revenge of the iron blooded sword hound The labelling of things, the judgement and analysis of things causes so much suffering. Even as I say that I'm doing exactly that in saying so. To have an empty mind seems like a far off goal to me. Especially since I have had such an egotistical day today. But I shall make sure to mention most of ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I'm feeling pretty shitty today. I tried to be good today but it just didn't work out. I was trying to hard to make it work. I want it to be effortless. Still don't know how to enjoy the moment. How to see the beauty in it. I need a morning routine. The start, the early hours are vital and set the tone and intention for the rest of the day. I went through my journal entries from last month and I ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
There is no goal for what I am. I am simply present. Emotions and thoughts come and go but my being continues. Despite the changes I continue to be me though that person may be different from the past or the future. I resist my desires, I resist my thoughts, I resist my emotions, I resist change and I resist stagnation. So much of my daily energy is spent fighting against myself. I always try to ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I get scared so much and so easily. Sooo much. Today I performed in front of my family, an audience that would have appreciated my work regardless of however terrible but such a high fear and nervousness gripped me and I have notice such fear in other aspects of my life too. It is there in so many different areas almost in all the areas of my life. I am a highly anxious individual no doubt and I h... » Continue Reading
Category: School, College, University
Hey! So, I'm writing this as I'm in the middle of my exams. Tomorrow I have to write an economics paper but I seem to have no motivation or energy to prepare for it even though I have all the study material prepared. Even though it is the subject on which I have achieved the highest ICET marks on. It is because this constant studying and writing tough papers days after day has completely drained m... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Turning towards social media to cure the problems which were caused by social media. You gave me the disease and now you're selling me the cure. Today I ate at the mess without the protection of my earphones and Netflix and I feel so liberated now. This irrational fear of people judging me and hating me is now gone. I feel so much more confident right now. I feel so sublime :) I have decide to mo... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Bringing that intensity of being into the moment. To experience it to the fullest is the goal. Today I was watching this Heath Ledger documentary and I felt so inspired by it. I consider him to be one of the finest artists of our generation. And I was blown away by the dedication that he brought to his roles. The focus and the vision that he possessed. He knew that each moment was to be lived to i... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I wish my parents were rich, so I could be spoilt. The absolute worst. People would look at me and say what a waste, if he knew the value of what he possess he would not waste it. As things are right now, I can't waste it. My parents aren't rich, they aren't bad or evil. I'm responsible for me and for them. Its not just my life; its theirs. I wish I had no family and no friends at all. I wish I wa... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Listening to my dopamine fix playlist. I feel so very very exhausted today. I feel like I will dissolve into this chair. Evaporate. It would be so comfortable. I always had artistic inclinations within me but my perfectionist nature and the social climate inhibited my growth as an artist a lot. A large part of being an artist is embracing imperfections. This week I shall try to bring that into my ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Living my life alone does not sound that bad. Solitude fits me like a glove. But what are these things that I distract myself with. These sub-standard experiences. Where is the drive and the focus that used to rule my days. Using my emotions to drive myself. It is a little tricky. It requires ingenuity and craftiness. Rishabh is a total fucker. I want to kill him. Its fine though. I will simply ou... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
A class of people that grab life by the hand. That chase the day and welcome the night. The stress in my neck, sign that I need to start meditating. Yesterday, I practiced reading aloud. My articulation and modulation could use a lot of work. I think I will look up ways on how to acquire a more energetic style of oration. You can make for a lack of manners but a lack of style is an unpardonable o... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I slept too little. I can feel soreness in my throat. I continue to worry about my constitution project. I did everything in such a hurry. I blame the incompetence of my partner for my stress. If he had done everything properly, to begin with, this would not have happened. Now I clench my jaw and wait for the plagiarism report. I feel anxious. It is larger than my head. It does not allow me to thi... » Continue Reading
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