im feeling like shit. ive been apathetic as fuck lately. nothing really brings me joy rn. depression is kicking my fucking ass. i feel weird saying it to people personally so I'm posting here. almost miss the vent app (yikes) i have to leave for work in 8 minutes and i havent even brushed my teeth yet. i want to throw up. i think i need to talk to my boss. ugh » Continue Reading
HI i had a lot more caffeine than i usually do today and im in a very weird state of mind ed/alcohol/drug mentions below please proceed w caution! i also didnt really eat a whole lot (probably from the caffeine) and i started kind of falling back into old thoughts. i think i might have accidentally triggered myself somehow? maybe it was the caffeine or maybe it was bc i ate a cliff bar for the fi... » Continue Reading
im genuinely happy with where my life is at rn. i finally feel like an adult. i felt so lost throughout all of my teenage years and now im finally the person i wanted to be all those years ago. im thriving. i have friends i can spend time with that make me laugh and feel cared for without having to worry about their mental health or walk on eggshells. i finally have nothing but healthy relationshi... » Continue Reading
IVE GROWN UP SO MUCH!!!!! i got a new job and i started getting involved in the second coming of broadwaystuck!!!! i have so much going on now and im so busy all the time but i love my life right now » Continue Reading
i discovered that i have a horrible habit when it comes to talking to people/getting in relationships. i enjoy the first date every time but then keeping up w them becomes a chore and it just takes so much energy to want to be around anyone but my friends... and thats a really hard thing to be honest about so i just end up ghosting. i love my friends and i value them over anyone, theyre the most i... » Continue Reading
i reconnected w someone else he didnt like in the past and ive been honestly living it up. i hardly have time to think abt him anymore :) the guys name is josh, (I KNOW, ANOTHER J NAME, SHUT UP) and he and i were friends in high school but he graduated two years before me and honestly thats where my life started going downhill .-. hes kind of the perfect balance between keeping me on the right tr... » Continue Reading
jesus fucking christ im not okay. getting out of bed was hard enough so i dragged my ass to dunkin bc i knew i wouldnt be able to make it through the day without coffee and he ended up behind me in line. couldnt stop thinking about him all fucking day and it put me in such a shitty mood for almost my entire shift. and i finally managed to sleep it off, and now ive found out hes engaged. engaged.... » Continue Reading
jonah just called me to tell me his little sister was the one that hacked my tiktok. he offered the evidence but i dont care enough. i dont see why it was necessary to call me and why he couldnt just text me about it. talking to him made me shake like a fucking chihuahua and now im tired. whatever, ill drink more coffee. or have another mimosa. lmao » Continue Reading
idk what happened, but i havent been able to stop thinking about him lately. i sent him the link to the decemberunderground hoodie bc it reminded me of one he mentioned that he used to have. im not expecting a response. i removed the notification from my recents, actually. music hurts a lot today and idk how to keep my spirits up. maybe ill just go to sleep. today is really hard and i didnt get an... » Continue Reading
sooooo ive been away for a while bc i just. i closed the tab and i forgot this site existed. but i remembered and now ill keep the tab open probably. but on sunday i had a really fun time w grey and i was so excited to have them over only for my KIDNEY to decide "hey! nows a good time to put a stone in your ureter :)" like 2 hours after grey came over! so i drove them home and had to deal with exc... » Continue Reading
i mended another relationship! i used to have a friend in 2019 and we'd talk abt saint asonia together (still havent met ANYONE else that likes this band) n then one day they got into an argument w jonah and ended up blocking me too. we reconnected on a kandi server and i reached out to apologize-- turned out i didnt do anything wrong and they didnt have a problem w me at all! :D yay for new frie... » Continue Reading
it was jonahs birthday today and i didnt wish him a happy birthday. (tw: drug mention below) i feel a little guilty about it, but i had the BEST day with (almost) ALL of my best friends. we went on a drive, we lost our voices from screaming to music, and we hit a cumbies just like we always used to. standing in line at the register gave me flashbacks to molly-- i remembered bouncing up and down i... » Continue Reading