why am i like this -_-

i discovered that i have a horrible habit when it comes to talking to people/getting in relationships. i enjoy the first date every time but then keeping up w them becomes a chore and it just takes so much energy to want to be around anyone but my friends... and thats a really hard thing to be honest about so i just end up ghosting. i love my friends and i value them over anyone, theyre the most important thing in the world to me. i cant make time for anyone else.