#9

getting out of bed was hard enough so i dragged my ass to dunkin bc i knew i wouldnt be able to make it through the day without coffee and he ended up behind me in line. 

couldnt stop thinking about him all fucking day and it put me in such a shitty mood for almost my entire shift. and i finally managed to sleep it off, and now ive found out hes engaged. 

engaged. 

theyve been together for 6 months, and apparently they got engaged a few months ago, which means it was even LESS time. 

we were together for four years. 

i know i have to get over him. im not in a place to date anyone right now. all ive wanted to do lately is isolate and this has only shoved me off the edge. i think im gonna call it off with eve. i cant handle the thought of anything serious. i need to just be me. 

i probably sound like a broken record. there are so many other thoughts in my head but i cant put any of them into words. im bitter and angry and upset and i fucking miss him. is this ever going to fucking end?