A

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"trapped in the wired"

dubious existence

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thank God i didn't say anything

Category: Life

i've been keeping more and more to myself. texts that would've been sent, posts that would've been made, attempts....i've kept it all inside & hidden and so far, it always makes me feel better. the risk isn't worth the shame of the attempt. the wait is worth more. » Continue Reading

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guys & dating pt 2

Category: Life

(more gay ranting) frankly one of my least favorites things is when guys act shy or they apologize in advance. like "sorry, i don't meant to make you uncomfortable" like why not? it's my belief that when you're truly attracted to someone you don't make those kinds of comments. i think everyone has had that one person they stopped at nothing to try and talk to, even if it was delusional in hindsigh... » Continue Reading

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favorite songs ever/ at the moment

Category: Music

my favorite songs ever (at least as of now) i love when songs sounds magical in a fairytale way Grimes - Life in the Vivid Dream             -  World Princess             - Heartbeats             - Nightmusic             - Saturn Princess             - Crystal Ball             - Flesh Without Blood             - Pin Britney Spears - And Then We Kiss                        - Shadow                 ... » Continue Reading

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to someone who loves you, nothing of yours is a secret

Category: Life

maybe i have a warped sense of love. people say you should be mature and communicate. but there are so many instances of instinctual bonds. how many examples can you think of when someone didn't have to say anything but you could tell what they thought? of course, you first have to know them for a while - but you'll only learn to pick up on their clues or patterns if you really care about them. it... » Continue Reading

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4 Comments— 6 Kudos

i hate social media (but not spacehey)

Category: Web, HTML, Tech

i really hope spacehey sticks around, i've only started using it and it's the only thing i find really does what i've always wanted from social media. the whole concept of everything needing to be short, catchy & attention grabbing so people don't scroll past it has always annoyed me. i don't want to show up on someone's feed, i want them to come up to me only if they care to read what i have to s... » Continue Reading

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half truths & secrets

Category: Life

i can't remember the last time i was truly honest with someone. i don't necessarily lie as in make things up but i avoid a lot of information until i know i can trust someone, which is very rare.  it's odd. i don't feel like a liar, i feel like i'm appropriately safeguarding myself. but i haven't told my whole life story to anyone ever, everyone knows a mere 30% about me. online no one even knows ... » Continue Reading

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guys & dating

Category: Romance and Relationships

to be honest, i can't say i have a physical type. my type is guys who are attracted to me. but deeply so, compliments never feel genuine to me as i said in another entry, especially if they're ephemeral. what i'm really attracted to is a near stalker ish dynamic that surrounds me. and that's not to say i'm into an unbalanced "all me" thing. once i know i can trust someone and that they'll be there... » Continue Reading

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obsolete internet

Category: Web, HTML, Tech

i remember people used to say nothing's ever truly gone on the internet. i think in the last 5 years or so it's been proven just how easily entire archives disappear. i can't even find my own old accounts from even 2 years ago. wayback machine isn't as useful or functional as people make it out to be. it archives a very small portion of the internet and from my understanding, it's mostly manually ... » Continue Reading

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