"writing out my feelings"
i’m a 23 y/o studying human justice. it’s nice to meet you~
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Category: Writing and Poetry
i think the reason it was so jarring wasn’t because i was already experiencing loss, but because it was everything and became nothing within a matter of seconds. the amount of devotion was something i wasn’t ready for. i think i tried explaining that already, i hope so. i think that would have come in with the whole “i can’t do a relationship right now” thing. had i realized it was too intense to... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
documenting this so that i can come back to it later, as a reminder; » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
on one hand i hope you don’t hate me i don’t want to be the thing you regret most but i hate you for leaving while i was working on healing i have to let go of that, don’t i? » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i took it too far the other night. i woke up with no recollection of anything that had happened past a certain point in the night. it's almost certainly escapism. for years, i've felt undeserving of love because growing up, i was a second priority over my sister's cancer. that is no one's fault, just poor circumstances. despite a habit of self-sabotaging relationships out of hatred of myself, i st... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
sometimes i think i can’t live without chaos » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
it's been a long time coming. i haven't had much time or willingness to look after myself and my wellbeing thanks to everything that has been going on, but now i am. let me break it down a little bit here. - i learned that i have a disorganized attachment style which affects all my relationships and how i grieve - i then bought a book/journal for overcoming the stresses that come with a disorganiz... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i keep coming back to write more and more often. i think it's because i feel lonely. despite trying to keep everyone around, the world around me is sort of changing more and more and people keep disappearing. it's scary. it's easier to rely on substances now, it sort of seems like a way to numb. i'm working on healthy coping strategies with some help right now, and trying not to hurt myself anymor... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i recently read sayaka murata's "life ceremony". the last chapter was about fitting in with everyone's expectations of how you should act based on how they perceive you to be. it resonated with something i had been dealing with for quite some time. i feel like there are so many expectations resting on my shoulders. i'm supposed to be ready for relationships but i'm not, i need to be the perfect da... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i thought writing out my feelings would help. maybe it won't, maybe it will. i don't expect you to ever read this, honestly, this is just for me. ~ some days i miss you, some days i wish i was ready or that we met earlier, some days i hate you for leaving, some days i'm relieved you did, some days i wish we had never met, and some days i just want to forget the world exists. i never expected you t... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
am i, then, a siren? you, who would treat me as a mythical creature, you, who would worship the ground upon which i walk, would then turn and call me a monster? » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
when i was young, i got a scar. i don't remember much of it, maybe it was too traumatizing for my brain to remember at such a young age. i remember that we had gone to summer camp, and were playing a game in the dark. i remember that we were told to wear appropriate clothing. warm sweaters, running shoes, things that would keep us safe. i did not follow this rule correctly, apparently. i tripped a... » Continue Reading
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