"probably suffering"
20, I hate waking up
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Category: Life
Not even gonna lie though. I have no clue how I survived everything I have. I can't even believe all that Bullshit went on everyday for years while my mental health was actually fucked in the ass. I had panic attacks everyday multiple times all being triggered by the same thing. I remember being angry at the world. I remember not feeling one shit of safety at home. I remember going through everyth... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I wish I was normal. I wonder how my life would be if I didn't have to deal with everything I was dealing with as a kid. Would I be on the path for a career?, would I there be in the sex industry?, Do I feel the same entrapment I do now?, Am I family oriented?. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
At times I wonder what it's like to have people. Like really have people there for you. To help you with the weight. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I do get sad over it. But I know ill be better off alone. People are better off without me. I'm a setback, a letdown. I don't enjoy being here. I envy escape. I actually wonder what it's like to be half-decent. Having a half-okay life. Waking up disappoints me. I wish my dreams were reality. If I didn't exist everything would be better for the people around me. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Im doing okay. I haven't been depressed in weeks. I don't know if I'm doing okay because I'm ignoring my problems or not. It's confusing and doesn't feel real which is heartbreaking, to be honest. It just shows I forgot what real happiness or Love felt like. Sometimes it feels like a dream. I've experienced happiness in dreams waking up disappointed in reality. I'm used to feeling okay for a short... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
Hiiiii, so I've made it to February which I didn't think was going to happen. I had been planning for months to End it all around this time. I'm happy to say that it's now 2:10AM on February 1st, 2023!!!. I will share my W's because it's so important and really saved my life. I actually can't believe I'm still here. I've smiled so so much over the past two weeks. I've had the honor of meeting and ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I wish i was somebody else. I cant survive like this. I know id be expected to deal with my shit and survive, or keep going. But its no fair. I dont think i can survive like this, and from a third person point of view its easy to want someone to stay, but what about first person?. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
It's so far into January. I had planned to leave everything behind at the end of January. I don't know if I should stay or if I should go. Nothing but the pride of my personal philosophy is keeping me Alive. Submission to admitting I am weak or unworthy of the corrupted world aches my soul right to the Core. I'm not a selfless person. I love my Brother, my dogs, my cats, my parents, and my friends... » Continue Reading
Category: Friends
I'm sorry to my friends that I've let down. I'm sorry to my younger brother I've let down. » Continue Reading
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