It's quickly approaching my little pups birthday. I can't believe that it's going to be 8 years since he came into my care. I wasn't in the best place mentally before he became my baby boy. But he's helped me immensely, and I find myself a bit more at peace. Pabu has helped me to be more grounded in my moods ( with help of my meds ), address my mental trauma and work on bettering myself. I'm going... » Continue Reading
Awake. Half charmed by the morning rain... All my thoughts are heavy with longing. I can feel a bitter sweet kiss in the air. Fain traces of you linger. Wine drunk God. Blessed by the vine. Those dark eyes watching me, waiting. I will follow you to the grove.. » Continue Reading
Being a night-owl due to insomnia and chronic pain would drive a normal person insane at this point. I've spent nearly two and a half weeks up late ( until 10 am most times ), but it isn't as though I want to be awake by myself.. With how much it's been raining, I'm having trouble coping with how badly my entire arm has been hurting. I have my physical therapy this morning. I'm hoping that they'll... » Continue Reading
I honestly don't feel like a good person. Whenever I try to spread awareness of issues going on in the world, or fundraisers to help someone. It feels like I'm not doing enough to help. Being disabled and broke, I have limitations as to what I can do without overwhelming myself. Which is why I try my hardest to help in other ways. Well before Elon fucked over twitter and ruined everything, I was p... » Continue Reading
It's gotten to the point where waking up is absolutely nightmarish. My body started failing on itself well before I turned 30, I just wasn't aware of how bad it was breaking down - due to all the traumatizing things I had been dealing with at the time. Fibromyalgia is ruining my life. From the moment I wake up, I have to take medication and make sure I don't do anything that could send me into a f... » Continue Reading
My puppy ( ESA ) is trying his hardest to help comfort me while I heal from my broken wrist. He is trained as my emotional support animal, and does his best to give comfort when needed. ( I fell downstairs, head over heels. Yes, my pup is okay. He was already in the grass and rolling around while I tumbled down. I smacked my wrist against the stairs, the doorframe and the cement sidewalk. » Continue Reading
I don't think I've ever truly felt like I belong here. It's hard to explain. But from the moment I "gained awareness" around age 8, I found myself confused with my surroundings. Like I had just been tossed into this body and given no directions on how to...exist. I'm not claiming to be anything. I feel like I had endured some absolutely heart wrenching trauma, to the point where I just blacked ou... » Continue Reading
Whelp, my wrist is broken. I saw an orthopedic specialist today, and my wrist has been broken for six weeks. I've had a shattered wrist and didn't even know it. Testosterone is a hell of a thing because I wasn't even screaming. But hey, I have physical therapy and it's on file that I thoroughly kicked my own ass. » Continue Reading
I can barely use my left hand for anything. It hurts so much I can't think straight. Going to do another trip to the hospital when everyone is awake. I'm so tired. » Continue Reading
I really hate passing out due to pain, only to wake up to blinding pain. I can't get back to sleep. I had JUST fixed my sleep cycle...and now it's fucked again.. » Continue Reading
After I learned that my Dad had cancer, it felt like the world was tilted sideways and the world dulled in color. Everything he was going through was outside of my control. I didn't have the money to fly up to him and help with his medical bills. I couldn't ease his suffering. There was nothing I could do. I would not make what he was going through about me. I suppressed my pain, my fears and depr... » Continue Reading