Late night's, spent alone...

Death seems to follow me everywhere. 

That isn't something I say lightly, because it's the truth. It never feels fair. 

Every time I come into someone's life or their proximity someone they know dies. Be it a family member or friend, and it feels like I have bad luck that I'm passing onto them. It's been this way since I was a little kid. 

It feels like I'm the cause of it. 

This is one of the main reasons, among others that I don't like to try and make friends. Because I feel like all I do is bring back luck into people's lives. That isn't fair to them, or their loved ones. 

I'm not someone that harms anyone, but it feels weird that whenever I meet someone and become friends...death finds people they care for. 

I spoke to one person about this, and they called it "coincidence" or "you came into their lives when they needed you most"..

Which as a pagan, I feel a pang of hope. But at the same time there's this hollow pit in the depths of my heart that makes me not believe her. 

Maybe I am just back luck..