And life went on. It was not the same. But it went on.

After I learned that my Dad had cancer, it felt like the world was tilted sideways and the world dulled in color. Everything he was going through was outside of my control. I didn't have the money to fly up to him and help with his medical bills. I couldn't ease his suffering.

There was nothing I could do.

I would not make what he was going through about me. I suppressed my pain, my fears and depression - doing everything I could to try and be there for him.

He lived in Wisconsin, and I live down south in Florida. We were far apart but bonded in spirit.

When his condition worsened, the world dulled further and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

It wasn't fair. He was a strong, beast of a man. Why was he going through something like this? Why is it always the kind, and selfless people that go through horrible things...?

I don't understand. He deserved better.

...and when he finally passed before I could hug him one last time, the world fully greyed and dropped out from under me.

There was a hollow feeling in the pit of my chest and I sobbed alone in my hotel room. I couldn't handle it. I don't have the proper words to explain how it badly his passing messed me up.

I knew it would hurt.

My wife and several people had warned me how badly loosing a parent hurts, and how I would never be prepared for it. But it really hit me hard.

Now, life goes on and his absence still haunts me.

The world keeps spinning without him, and I'm stuck here with memories of him. All I have are a few cherished moments.

I miss him.