Little free write. Not well proofread. Trigger warning: Sex, Rape I’ve had a lot on my mind the past couple of days. The typical introspective-but-maybe-uncompassionate thoughts you get after ending a long term relationship. I want to start off by saying it ended amicably. I don’t know why I start to immediately defend myself unprompted when I tell people my ex and I broke up. I think I want to p... » Continue Reading
Happy (belated) New Years! I haven’t thought much about New Years Resolutions quite yet. My December was really a doozy (3yr relationship ended, anxiety about furthering my career, college malaise, the typical early 20s junk). Instead of goals and resolutions, my new therapist and I have been working on some good old how-to-not-get-too-attached-to-your-rebound skills and let’s-think-a-bit-more-cr... » Continue Reading
Hello everyone! It's been a good year since I've last updated. To recap, I got a promotion at work and have been hoping to move to full time soon. I've had a few hiccups in school but I'm getting back on track, I got broken up with, and I've spent the past year in a fugue state due to... hormonal birth control? Anyways, I'm my copper coil is stil going strong and so am I. I hope to be able to up... » Continue Reading
I'm sitting at my cute little desk in the library's lab. Today is the second day of the library being open after it was trashed by the protestors, putting me out of a good chunk of hours at work. It reminds me of when I first started working at my quaint little college IT job.... 8 months ago. Maybe it hasn't been that long, but the summer heat sweat out the feeling of the novelty of being a colle... » Continue Reading
Back in my hometown to dogsit for my mom and NOT HAPPY about it! I miss my clean apartment, I miss living so close to the city I don't remember it's wildfire season, I miss my bed. I miss it all!! I just want to go home and live the cute romantized life I left my hometown for. Got some of my mom's Zofran out of it though. » Continue Reading
It's easy to put things into perspective and use positive cognitive reframing. It's HARD remembering it and letting it influence your emotions and decisions. I am living the life 16-year-old me worked so hard for and DREAMED of, but since I've reached that goal it's hard to find something else to strive for and motivate me. It's also still so easy to focus on what I don't have. It's so easy to foc... » Continue Reading
Having a choice as to who can stay in my space is invaluable to me. Often I debate if my freedom to do something affects my ability to decide whether or not to do something. It's pretty standard armchair psychology to assume that not having much say in who stays in my home growing up has led me to want to exercise that freedom extra as an adult. Regardless, I'm having a friend sublet for a few mon... » Continue Reading
In the midst of winter I found there was within me an invincible summer. Dutch Bros forgot to charge me for a bag of coffee beans. I got free beans!!! Despite the stress of finals and managing an apartment, there is good in the world. » Continue Reading
I, like many others, have an entry-level tech job in the hopes of one day making it big on the beautiful West Coast. One thing I can't help but notice from all the CS professors/TAs, low-level Intel code monkeys, and the sorts is that they all dress like they came back from the Pacific Crest trail. Now, I'm not talking typical PNW attire- high water or cuffed jeans (depending on your generation), ... » Continue Reading
I got a haircut. Like any other girl, getting a haircut is a whirlwind of anxiety and excitement and regret. My new-do is short. Very short. Grown-out Chelsea cut short. Growing up I had a massive fear of getting my hair cut and only felt comfortable going to my father's friend's barber shop. This friend specializes in alternative women's cuts and a wide array of men's cuts, but I always got sim... » Continue Reading
AGAIN! I got some pretty minor blood stains on my white Ikea linen fitted sheet this weekend and decided to give them a wash only for them to come out of the dryer with GREY SPOTCHES! They came out of the dryer DIRTIER! Someone left some bleach in the laundry room that I might just snag (it's on the 'free stuff' shelf... idk if it's actually free though) and use to bleach them since I have no clu... » Continue Reading
Although I struggle with balancing school, my social life, work, and rent, the biggest thing I struggle with is putting things into perspective. Looking at the lives of those in my high school graduating class, I'm the only one who is living on my own, going to school full time, and working enough to maintain themself. I fear coming across as judgmental or as a braggart so much that I fail to see ... » Continue Reading
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