"hormonal disaster"
I like it when it hurts like hell
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Category: Blogging
Drone /ambient music (especially while high) recently, I have been listening to grouper, MSC, Hayden's Ashmedai projects, and Orchid Mantis. lights from skyscrapers reflecting onto water Girls with guns guns as a symbolic object » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I truly have to believe that we as a society are living within a simulacrum; a parody of reality and we will never be able to interact with true "Reality" as human beings because we all experience it differently. How could I ever truly believe that we all see the same sky when some people can't see it at all? Why would I assume that our perception is homogonous when our very existences are so wild... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
Sadness can be a form of addiction. I find myself clinging to it, as if letting go would mean abandoning my personhood and taking on an entirely new identity, one that is foreign to me. What am I if not sad? What would be left if all the suffering is stripped back and I am forced to confront the remains of my fractured sense of self? If I don't have a reason for being this way, and this is all I a... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I am an art student, I'm an artist in every sense of the word. I went to art high school. I am now in college studying illustration. I don't contribute much to the world and I know that. I'm not even trying to be self-deprecating or anything it's just the truth I'm not good at anything else and Im too lazy to work hard. I'm just tired of people asking why I'm going into art cuz of AI and I'm gonna... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I think that my meds are suppressing my emotions to the point where I don't really feel anything It sucks cuz I'm so used to feeling bad and now I feel not much at all and that in itself is making me feel bad Like I'm still me but like... muted. Idk it's weird. There's deadass no winning but ykw at least I'm not in high school anymore and I have access to weed >_ » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Do you ever feel like something bad is about to happen so you wait and wait and wait until something inevitably goes wrong and then the relief of the anticipation being over washes over you I never feel good. Or at least if I do, it’’s rare and fleeting. I spend most of my time either feeling bad or anticipating feeling bad. In my opinion feeling bad is better than the buildup, because when I’m no... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Whenever I love someone, I have the deep and all-encompassing urge to keep them to myself. I wish I could keep everyone I love in a bubble and monitor everyone’s interactions. I hate people. I hate my friends because they have friends that aren’t me. I just want someone all to myself. I want to feel like I can provide everything they need. I hate it, trust me. I hate holding this disdain for every... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I’ve sort of become infatuated with jabber from gachiakuta… Kyaa he’s so beautiful and he’s a dreadhead and he’s a masochist, perfect for me >3 » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
I don’t know how people find fulfillment in their daily lives. it’s been said a million times before and I’ll say it once more. I don’t know what to do or how to continue on existing. Every interaction I have outside of my immediate family feels feigned and hollow, like I’m reading from a script. Every offer of help or support seems shallow or undeserved. Talking to anyone is exhausting and I don’... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I dislike when my friends like people outside of me. I especially despise when I can tell that they like said people more than me. I should be the most important person in all of my friends lives, but I know that I’m quite awful to be around, given that I can’t go more than a week without have a full panic attack. Whatever… I was meant to live online, where my depravities will be considered relata... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I was gifted Nekopara vol. 1 and 2 a few days ago ago and so far i really love the game ^_^ I know it’s fanbase consists mainly of loli-loving incels and teen girls who think RCTA is a real thing but it’s honestly really cute and fun so whatev Still not beating the femcel allegations, but what can I do? » Continue Reading
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