Oh, how wonderful that people around me are falling in love with each other. It makes me smile, yet, deeply inside of my heart, I wonder what is so wrong with me that I cannot be loveable easily as others are doing so. Is it because I was molested as a child? Is it because I had to go through abusive relationships, where I was beaten up until I started to lose my breath, seeing my own blood? Is it... » Continue Reading
It's been year and month now. Every day I feel a shame and a guilt. Some days are not that heavy, but some other days are too much for me. Today is the day when it is indeed heavy feeling. Heavy shame and guilt for being lusted on. For feeling that hard touch on my neck. She says it was an accident that she did that, that she didn't think about it that much or that I even will enjoy it. And yet,... » Continue Reading
My mind is full of them. They seem all to be so different, but together they have one collective goal - to remind me how much I am useless piece of shit. Everything what happened to me is my fault. Doesn't matter. It's just my fault. Feeling of guilt which I care on my back from my early childhood. From the moment, when she ... ... ... I don't know if I want to say that. Cruel to say. Too cruel. ... » Continue Reading