"An inccident"

It's been year and month now. 

Every day I feel a shame and a guilt. Some days are not that heavy, but some other days are too much for me. Today is the day when it is indeed heavy feeling. Heavy shame and guilt for being lusted on. For feeling that hard touch on my neck. 

She says it was an accident that she did that, that she didn't think about it that much or that I even will enjoy it. And yet, why she tries me to cover my mouth whenever I try to speak about this? 

If it was truly an accident... Maybe she wouldn't for year and month try to shut me up.

Who knows.