"get daddy some smokes"
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https://blog.spacehey.com/capnschmazz
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Category: Blogging
Drunk doesn't look good on people. Slow blink, quiet knocks on doors, subtle indications that there's more to your feelings than you say there is. I'm not scared of being drunk, I'm not scared of the high, I'm not scared of "relaxing" and "having fun" and "letting loose a little". I just hate how it looks. You aren't you drunk on Jack Daniels, you aren't you staring blankly out of pink grassed-up ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
God knows how many hours I've wasted stammering in circles on this site, pointlessly shouting my annoyance at deadlines and entertaining no one but my ego, and I'm sick and tired of it. Enough's enough, new year, new me, so I'm logging on to log off. Counterproductive, I know. Why make a show of getting off a stage if no one's in the audience? Man, I'm good. I should stay on. I just feel as tho... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Do you know what's majorly fucked up? That after watching Scream earlier and witnessing, y'know, those kids being cut to bits, etc etc, that I'll dream about it tonight. Hey I'll even play devil's advocate and say: maybe I won't -- however that doesn't take away from the fact that if I were to dream about it, i'd be the one bloodied on the floor and all that harangue. I don't especially care, I'v... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I'm finishing my first semester of college today and I'm going to dare to say that I've realized something. My whole life I've just been waiting for the next "milestone" to prove to myself that I've aged. When you're young, you prove to the world that you're a little bit older every time you complete some task reserved for that age group: middle school, high school, etc. Now I'm in college realiz... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
"Land ho!" Capt. Chrysanthemum called, and though we had been on the water for 7 months, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow to leave behind the sea's unsteadiness and feel the solid rock of land beneath my feet. There was no steadiness in the rock ahead of us, though none of us knew this at the time, and the crew was wasted in record time. The rock was probably as steady as any (as their r... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I feel like I'm wasting my life where I am, doing nothing, barely making anything, and the worst part is I'm blaming it on the establishment I willingly paid. I know it's my fault I'm not making the most of my days, but I can't help feeling like the parameters of school (blech) are lopping off my creative limbs. But, with that said, I am someone who needs some semblance of structure lest I get to... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
A few weeks ago I was losing brain cells on Snapchat and a snake doctor appeared on my phone. He was surgically removing what I believe was a hammock from some massive snake who had foolishly swallowed it. I think the snake is also addicted to Snapchat. I woke up with a sore throat today and I thought of that snake. Then I mindlessly opened Snapchat and thought about him some more. I need an art... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I have a two week vacation starting tomorrow and it'll just be my parents and me. I can't see anyone, because I have to quarantine from my parents when I do, because even though the world wants to forget it, Covid still exists. I'm scared of that. I'm not scared of the idea of vacationing itself, but I am scared of only being with myself or my parents. I don't know what I'm going to do. Things ar... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
"Yo Friday night was a movie !!" my friend would yell if this was a shitty 2000s coming of age film where it was societally acceptable to scream the f-slur on the top of your voice with the excuse that you're drunk. This however, is 2022, where my friend does not use the drunken excuse for his slurred slurring speech, he uses "I'm gay" (he's bi). In all fairness, he could get away with the drunk ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Dear Zach Galifianakis, How are your ferns today? I know you called them "wilted pieces of shit" in your last correspondence (not very gentlemanly of you, Gal) but I hope they've received some water since that time, about two months ago. If this letter is what reminds you to hydrate the ferns you were once so dedicated to, then you may be the wilted piece of shit in that house. You wilt from your... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
What am I supposed to write about? What are any of us supposed to write about? There is not correct answer to those questions and they just sparked an avalanche in my head because I opened a book and realized I never know what I'm doing. How do we seamlessly incorporate our bones into our writing so that they flick the personable switch in a reader? When we write our bones, are we falsifying th... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
I've been having some trouble at school in more ways than one. Not only is my life of learning on hold until college, but it has transformed into an anarchy of procrastination and class-clownish behavior. in short, it's a terrible time to learn how to write an academic paper because I do not care and I want to write the way I'm going to fucking write. Meanwhile, my fingers were naked this morning... » Continue Reading
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