Fucking a Pig in the Ass (and other things I wish the Interim Head of my school did so we could get him fired more easily)

Meanwhile, my fingers were naked this morning so they're now in glittered garb. 

Why don't people vote? I understand that oh golly gee, the system's a farce, the pig's have taken over, our country's gone to hell anyway and we'll all be dead either by our own hand, God's, or whatever else this endless ring of fire has in store for us...but fuck you! This isn't Catcher in the Rye, this is a real place with real people (besides those red ear hats might be cool but they don't make you a genius, he's a highschooler). Cynicism doesn't mean you're above everyone else, it only means you've resigned to the assholes who won't shut the fuck up about their Nazi-boning, white supremacist, Trump worshipping ideals. Being angry is fine, sure, but being angry at life is useless and you're unhelpful for being a prick about it. 

Roe v Wade is an example of what I'm talking about. The Republicans played the long game! They stuck around the see the fruits of their hate-all-women, anti-2pac (he was a feminist), ideologies while we didn't do enough to put barricades around our basic human rights! The existence of aggressive, downright criminal competition does not mean that our cause is futile. It only means that we have to band together against their bans, stronger than we ever have, to turn the tides. 

I know Democrats can be cagey, Biden's enacted bullshit in his career, Obama shied away from his protection of Roe and all that...but that's because they're keeping moderate in order not to lose the unimaginative bastards in the middle. That's a problem I doubt will ever be fixed, but now we're in a hole that can't just be solved by an awesome, radical dude on the ticket whose jet engines never seem to die. Sometimes you need to lay on the coolant just so a few bills can be passed...but that isn't a lost cause, that's politics. No, you can't snap and burn the bureaucracy like Republicans do books, but you can vote to keep mongrels out of office. The system may be shit, but it's the best one we've got. And also, guess what, the only way to try and fix the system is to get people in government who can try that. Nothing was ever fixed by saying fuck that, fuck this, fuck you, fuck me unless you're helping someone confused at an orgy. The world needs an enema and we need to elect people who can give it.

However, there is the fact that we need to think about who can realistically give it. Sure, we all like one guy: he's got funny hair, cool mittens, and a career spanning to interviewing punks back in the 80s or so; but he only works for a specific pocket of individuals. Yeah, that's what we want, and we're that pocket, but this is a whole fucking country we gotta give an enema too...that's a shitton of legislation. We need to get a grunt of acceptance from the electorate majority, not just the socialist freaks like us. This is not to say to dumb your vote down...this is to say not to trash the system entirely. Don't be euthanized by a loss, be so angered that you vote even harder next time, bringing your friends with you. That's what Republicans and other such fuckballs have done for decades, and look at what's happening. Cynicism is the coward's way out of dealing with the garbage of the world. If everything is shit, when something else turns to it, who cares? But that's stupid and sad and fucking absurd, because, what, can none of us take a disappointment anymore? We're not toddlers, we don't have to scream and tantrum because mom said no to the blue jolly ranchers (they taste like soap, sweetie. you hate soap, remember? i don't know how i'll ever bathe you), we get to stand up and say: fuck you mom, maybe I wanna eat soap! And you have to pay for it! (this is a phase we call middle school anarchist). 

Anyway. Watch the Hunter S Thompson adaptation: Fear and Loathing in Aspen. It touches on this. 

I guess I should address the title. Hope y'all caught the unsubtle Rory Kinnear/Black Mirror reference there. 

My school, the alleged liberal arts highschool of the area, has become 'alleged' by the fault of the Gestapo hand of a shallow administration. Our head of school is 'retiring', (aka 'being pushed out') and a new one is being elected. Our current 'interim head', who is there to fuck around in his god awful queer-bait glasses and flaunt his stooped, nasally, dead-eyed, uncaring, bitchy, weak, nothing personality is turning our school inside out with his nasally, dead-eyed, uncaring, bitchy, weak, nothing personality ways. I don't need to go into logistics, as I'm not a murdered Marine (Barry reference), nor do you need one, as my description of this fungus of a man has probably given you an idea of the level of disgust the students have with him. For various reasons, he sucks. Want it clearer? He sucks more ass than a blind vampire, and to answer your inevitable question, yes, he is batshit. 

We may not have our own government, but we do have senioritis, so senioritis we shall flaunt. A group of kids I know decided to wallpaper instagram with complaints to Disable-man Abelman (a clever pun about his name, which has remained hidden from you out of principle) as well as "encouragement" (as Disable-man called it later on in a letter) to walk-out of our ZoomMMM (Morning Mundane Meeting) this coming mundane-Monday. 

Disable-man caught wind of our little mutiny and he wrote a vague email to the entire school about it, pretending to be nice, when in fact we know his lies, and therefore we hate him all the more for it. In response my friend, happening to be one one the two student body presidents, wrote an email to the current actual and retiring head of school as well as the committee that was elected to hire a new one to fully explain our mutiny. Myself, the other student body president, and this other guy in my grade signed our names on the bottom. 

Now let me tell you. If seniors, seniors, have gotten off their asses to deal with this man...you know there's a problem. We're out of here! If he's elected, we don't have to give a shit because he won't affect us! And honestly, if he hadn't done a bitch-ass move that had affected certain members of the senior class (specifically boarding students), he would not have garnered this passionated a hate-squad. However. He's a bitch-ass man. What do bitch-ass men do? They suck more ass than a batshit blind vampire. 

So, we're exercising the right we have as students to have some vague say in the head of our school, as well as taking clear advantage of the freeness of this liberal arts highschool that allegedly "values student voices". Obviously, my voice, specifically this aggressive angry one, is not the one we will be openly advertising to a school administration of pearl-clutching hypocrites. After all, they were the ones who brought Disable-man in at the beginning of the year so his transition could be "smoother"...even though we were allegedly electing a new head anyway. Why did we need an interim head when our Head was retiring at the end of the year and we were always going to interview more candidates? What was the purpose?

A drama teacher gossiped to me (stirring up drama as he does) that they were pushing our Head of school out because he had a good head on his shoulders, when in reality, he's too smart to be manipulated, bribed, or silenced. The administration enjoys people they can speak through. They don't want the school to have any ideas by itself. That might ruin the image of the school! They want to be prestigious, when in reality we were built on liberal hippie shit that some guy in a mountain came up with (true story). 

Anyway, Disable-man needs to get out for good. It's time to take out the trash and we're a bit willing. 

I'm tired. 

See, if Disable-man had Able-manned his dick and fucked a pig, we wouldn't be in this mess! Having an affair with school administration has got to be against the hand book, right? (haha). 

Now we just have to rely on our own complaints, though I've seen a couple and they can be pretty shallow. Really, he's a shoddy fit and just a puppet for the administration and we all know it. But who wins in the end? If we get the parents on board...maybe something will happen. I dunno. Everyone's checking out. It's the end of the school year, plus, y'know...Americans with other opinions seem to be set on checking a box for grumbled cynicism. 

There's work yet to be done. In my life too. I've got three art history papers to write. 

Don't fuck with pigs and don't fuck them. Bestiality counts for blue collars too. Make good trouble. 

from the radical desk of a drug-comedown machine, 

maniacal hoodie