Though I've never gotten any questions or comments as to why I mostly draw and paint men, I sometimes wonder how I'd respond to that kind of question since it is an interesting one. I remember a few years ago, my parents and I were watching a video about the artist H.R. Giger (who was a part of the visual direction for the 1979 movie Alien) and my dad had asked why people seem to focus mostly on f... » Continue Reading
Today was, yet again, uneventful. It was way easier than yesterday, when I was just crying basically non-stop and I still don't know why. Today though, I just couldn't focus at all. I'd start one thing, get frustrated, try another, get frustrated. I've been so irritable lately and I wish I could get high again to help me mellow out, but I'm worried it will trigger my paranoia and anxiety, so I gue... » Continue Reading
i've been studying languages on and off for a while but have never gotten anywhere with them, partially bc of lack of motivation, but also because i know for a fact true progress comes with exposure. it's so hard to find good language partners online that won't either ghost you or try to flirt with you. Or both. right now i've been trying to learn Spanish to hopefully one day conn » Continue Reading
Having a hard day today. I tried to cry it out so I don't feel like I'm about to explode with anger and frustration but it only helped for a short while. I'll try again after I post this. I'm sketching more today but nothing looks good. I keep deleting the file, start over, and repeat. Everything I come up with looks too stiff or derivative. I guess I shouldn't be too upset about the derivative pa... » Continue Reading
today was a pretty uneventful day. i woke up at 10am but stayed in bed for a while since i was quite tired. i did get some sketching done today but nothing useful. however. i did settle on an idea finally of what to draw. ive been meaning to do more paintings based off of the greek myths, offer my own interpretation of them, with some inspo of course from my artistic hero, awanqi. their work makes... » Continue Reading
I'm going to try and paint today. I've been super down for almost 2 weeks now since I lost this contest I submitted to, which in retrospect, wasn't that big of a deal. But it's taken me so long to get to this point again where I'm drawing and creating something consistently, and even longer to feel even remotely comfortable in my ability to produce something I'm proud of, so it was a bit of a blow... » Continue Reading
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