"probably high"
how strange it is to be anything at all
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Category: Romance and Relationships
I didn't even miss him until yesterday. but everything came crashing down. it all hit at once. I'm seriously across the country from him and I'll probably never see him again. we were toxic but fuck he loved me. filled my water bottle every night. he always washed my body in the shower. we did drugs together, he always made sure I was okay. he made me start eating again. even when everyone was aga... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
im so fucking sick of being sick. like this shit is actually annoying. ive never been closer to blowing my fucking brains out. i dont even wanna die i just dont wanna be here. theres literally nothing here for me. i have no where to go and its fucking exhausting. i just want to live without feeling like im in prison IN MY OWN FUCKING HEAD. FUCKKKK. NOTHING GETS BETTER THEY R LYING. i cant remember... » Continue Reading
Category: Romance and Relationships
I need to go home. I'm going insane. I haven't talked to him in months but I randomly started dreaming about him every night for the last few weeks. and in every dream, there's always something so bad happening to me, and then at the end he saves me from it all. but in reality, I don't need saving from anything right now. I need to be saving him. I know he's doing drugs I just know it, and I don't... » Continue Reading
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
ive always been able to see weird things, and I've always called them ghosts. even if they aren't, that's what I'm telling myself anyways. none of them have ever really scared me because they cant interact with the physical world. but there's one who can, and honestly the first time he did it, I was little so I tried to convince myself it wasn't real. I was young and I was watching videos up late,... » Continue Reading
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
his birthday just passed so of course I had a dream about him last night. in my dream I went home, back in North Carolina. and for some reason in my dream, I was trying not to go see him. i was trying to be strong. but then I seen him walking down our street. and in my dream we just locked eyes, and he got in the car with me. he hugged me so tight. we sat in the car for hours and we just talked. h... » Continue Reading
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Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
last night I dreamed about having a baby?? I've never wanted kids like ever, I've always been super clear about that. but in my dream I was in the labor room high on pain meds, and I was so excited to meet my baby. and in my dream I pushed her out quickly and like she was just so beautiful. she had big brown eyes and chubby cheeks. I named her Lucille. I woke up so sad this morning. I thought I di... » Continue Reading
Category: Romance and Relationships
I was the earth and he was my sun. I revolved around him. his eyes brought me light and his hands brought me warmth. I thrived only of his doing. he left me cold and empty. i have never been more empty. i show no more signs of life. my body remains uninhabited, and my soul hallow. i have no remaining air in my lungs, he provided me with all the oxygen I needed. my heart is starting to die from lac... » Continue Reading
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Category: Romance and Relationships
we were planning to run away together just last week so why is he doing this to me? yesterday he told me he's done. and some girl texted me, and she told me to leave him alone. I couldn't even get angry. my heart sank, and I finally understood what a heartache meant. he rubbed it in my face that he was with someone new and he laughed at my tears. but we loved each other? how can he rip me apart af... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I swear to God I can feel myself rotting. I cant do anything without being immediately exhausted. and I cant stop picking my fucking lips and my fingers. I'm like always fucking bleeding. it looks so fucking gross I look like a zombie. I'm so pale I look like the actual living dead. my nails r like turning yellow and I try to paint them but I just pick at them too. i literally cant even write this... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I HATE MY PARENTS. they r fucking junkies n they have been ruining my life now since i was nine. I HOPE IM NEVER LIKE THEM. why the fuck do i have to parent my own parents. IM JUST A FUCKING BABY. FUCKKK. ive been in so many bad situations because of them. sure, my moms getting clean BUT THAT DOESNT ERASE THE YEARS OF DAMAGE THEY FUCKED ME UP WITH. NOW MY LITTLE BROTHER GETS TO HAVE THE MOM I DIDN... » Continue Reading
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