am I rotting

I swear to God I can feel myself rotting. I cant do anything without being immediately exhausted. and I cant stop picking my fucking lips and my fingers. I'm like always fucking bleeding. it looks so fucking gross I look like a zombie. I'm so pale I look like the actual living dead. my nails r like turning yellow and I try to paint them but I just pick at them too. i literally cant even write this shit because I'm picking my fingers rn. I cant even barley stand up anymore because I just immediately need to sit back down. I'm always so lightheaded. I'm never hungry anymore, and when I am it sucks, because when I eat I just get so nauseous. dude I'm already fucking dead. its just like fuckkkkkkkk. I don't even think I care anymore. I'm half fucking dead. I'm dipping my feet in my grave already I don't care. I'm just tired. I'm so fucking tired. there's nothing here for me anyways and if there is, I've already let go of it. I don't fucking care. I can feel death all around me and I don't think I care. I know im gonna die in the next few years anyways. even if its not from myself, I know I am. I'm gonna overdose or I'm gonna get in a car crash. I dont know how I know but I do. I already know how I'm gonna die and its gonna be soon. I know it is. and I DONT CAREEE IM FUCKING ROTTING