WHY DO I CARE

I didn't even miss him until yesterday. but everything came crashing down. it all hit at once. I'm seriously across the country from him and I'll probably never see him again. we were toxic but fuck he loved me. filled my water bottle every night. he always washed my body in the shower. we did drugs together, he always made sure I was okay. he made me start eating again. even when everyone was against him, i stood by because i loved him and everyone hated me for it. i handed him my soul, and he kissed it. i spilled the little love that was my heart, all over him. i loved him so much it was eating at my body from the inside out. i can still feel his hand in mine, i can trace every one of his hand lines by memory. I did all of his tattoos, I put all of my love into the ink before I placed it all deep under his skin. did the ink already fade?  hes ripped my heart out of my chest, but he can keep it. it was already his.