That group home was a testimony that when I reach out, nothing happens! I snitched on my abuser, I wrecked the family, and I was practically in limbo for two months. But as soon as I got to "Safety", the Group Home that is, everyone forgot about me. My sister, her husband. I thought they were the last family I had left. But I was clearly just their pet project, and as soon as I moved out they left... » Continue Reading
Even when I try to be nice, you're all so mean to me! Just empty, empty, hollow love that only shows I never deserved the real kind. Why don't you understand, can't even try to understand, how hopeless it makes me feel?! When you take everything away from me and I don't have any kind of outlet- No, any kind of HOPE! You just want me to feel this way, you want me to feel so hopeless and unloved as... » Continue Reading
it always comes back. no matter how hopeful or happy or motivated i get, it always comes back. it always comes back worse! it always hurts me more than the last time, because for once i thought i was fixed. no matter how happy i get, that thing is still on my mind every day. no matter how hopeful i get, my resources shoot me down every time i reach out. no matter how motivated i get, i'm still dep... » Continue Reading
i've come to realize there is only one thing i want in my life. i think about my future and i don't see a fun road trip. i don't see university. i don't see helping others. i don't see children or family. i just see an apartment. with old wood floors and a wooden ceiling fan and white walls faded yellow, bumps and scratches and paintings and stained glass and shutter blinds and my grandmas quilts... » Continue Reading
That's all. Oh ya and apparently I'm really anemic so I gotta take iron and something else to get it back on track. It's been 3 or 4 days since I started and I've noticed some of my eyelashes fell out? Like, 2. But that never happens and apparently iron can make ur hair fall out so if my hair falls out I'm giving up /j but fr I would just curl up into a ball and die if that ever happened to me esp... » Continue Reading
I HATE the power struggles within my shitty family, I hate having to dodge and evade and create new tactics to avoid setting my mother off, I hate trying to negotiate my way through another power struggle with a middle aged woman. I HATE!!! Not having a license or a car or an easy way to drive, I hate how nobody cares enough to give me a ride anywhere, and ya know? I hate how nobody cares in gener... » Continue Reading
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with my life? I was born into this family that gave me cold empty love that I learned to crave. And when i realized it was empty, it tore my stomach open and all my guts fell out. I pushed and shoved my insides between my ribs, and it when pieces of me kept falling out, I trudged on anyways. I needed to figure out what this was all for. I needed to figure out wha... » Continue Reading
My legs are bound by tape, Not duct tape, but scotch, wrapped in tens of layers. I'm falling, into this kind of twisting pit. Everything around me is moving too fast. Or is it that I'm moving too fast? It's all blurry, it's all blending together and I can't keep up. That guttural feeling when the theme park attraction shoots down, and for once in your life your stomach hits your heart, not the o » Continue Reading
Maybe the girlhood was the autism we made along the way... Haha, anyone hear that ominous depression creeping back in? Anyways, I tend to feel 10% better after I shower, so I'm brushing my hair out right now. Whenever I'm sad I tend to think "What can I do to feel 10% better?" and I just do that. Or if I'm on my phone too much, I put it somewhere forgettable and it pushes me to do something else. ... » Continue Reading
I revel in the memories of the ones I have loved, though they are strangers to me now. Those who filled my earliest memories, my formative years, and I feel nothing towards the people they have become. Or maybe it's how I've become. My morals, my values, my twisting and corrosive mind, perhaps that's what has led me to this apathy and disdain for everything in my life. When did everything turn gr... » Continue Reading
Ever since I was a kid. No, ever since this whole thing started, almost 6 years ago. She wasn't raised right- she was mean. He was my closest friend, but he shouted a cruel comeback towards me once. My neighbour creeps me out in a way that I can't quite explain. She was controlling of a group project. That woman gave me hope, only to be cruel in the end. She was my idol, but now she's miserable to... » Continue Reading
Hi! So I actually had a good day for once. Seriously though. Few can say they've seen it all. Maybe you haven't seen a football game in person. Or a concert. Or maybe you want to get up and see the classroom you learned in, from the place of a teacher. Maybe the only thing driving you right now is to one day see all your peers and speak from a podium. You haven't seen every park. Every pool. Every... » Continue Reading
Report User
