aahhh aaaaaaaahhhhh AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel like i'm atoning for the things,

i am forcing myself to do this. i know i am forcing myself to do this.

this is so stupid.

i'm the same i'm the same i'm the same i'm the same,

nothing will change if i tell somebody.

and this writing,

is just feeding into my horrible feelings!

i'm the same as i was before, i know i'm the same-

if i got any chance in the world i'd jump at it.

but hey, wait, i'm doing everything right!

(secret) therapy, going to school, having a regular schedule, taking care of myself.

people call me pretty, and smart, and interesting, and a hard worker,

but i feel the exact same as i've always felt.

this entire damn time. my skins about to burst!

my certainty, in this ending, yes,

day in, day out, i'm just torturing myself again and again and again.

i wouldn't have it any other way.

and this life of mine is a stamp-approved certification that i'm the same as before.

i am, and will be, .

...that kind of person, the person i am.

but nothing and nobody will change if i say it.

i know because i've said it all, so many times before.