I wish that I were pure and innocent with none of these thoughts raging in my head.

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get it out of me

i can't take this anymore

not even 'it always comes back', not even 'focus on fixing my future', it's that my thoughts have been like this for so long and are always this same way and i just try to ignore it until it creeps up on me when i'm trying to sleep and all i spend my time doing for hours and hours and hours and hours is try to feed my head, overload it with all this meaningless shit, until i pray on my hands and knees to just not. dream of that again. not tonight. please

i can never cope with this

i have never been able to cope with this.

I am a corpse forced to live.