I've been thinking lately a lot about how ill handle being in love. I mean I like to think that if I ever date itll be to marry yknow. I want something homely. The problem is that I can never fully be in love, any love that I feel immediately turns into admiration upon more delving into it. I can never say that im fully in love, it always circles back to platonic. I know I'm capable of it, I dream... » Continue Reading
NO I DONT WANT TO KNOW HOW ITLL HELP ME I WANT TO WORK IN A LAB OR REFINERY NOT WITH LINEAR ALGEBRA. STOOPIDEST MATH SUBJECT EVER SO GAY SO AWFUL, NOT BECAUSE ITS GAY BUT BECAUSE ITS ANNOYING. AHHHHHHHHHHHH » Continue Reading
Full time student and trust me I'm trying to get employed but its hard. Im the middle child and the only one in university rn, my sister graduated and has a well paying job for the past 2 years and my other sibling is still too young for anything like that. Im currently the loser thats getting everything paid for by my parents to complete my education and lately theres been some talks about money... » Continue Reading
Yknow one thing is when I say i read a book I may have not finished it all. Like sometimes life will catch up and ill be like okay I cant finish these 200 pages the story ends here, university life huh. I wanna get back to reading more so im gonna read mary Barton and finish it completely then ill read some alchemy stuff and madam bovary. Hopefully madam bovary isnt too simillar to anna karenina ... » Continue Reading
Started listening to and one and theyre pretty good! Some of their lyrics are a bit weird but I get that these bands are always a bit odd. Funnily enough I love their song girls on girls, its too catchy. Wound is also my fav rn, the bridge is too good and feels so emotional for some reason » Continue Reading
You know when someone has said something in the past and you just cant shake it and you know that deep down they think this of you? I know what they think of me, no amount of "no thats not true youre smart" or "it's okay its not a big deal" helps anymore. I know how they see me and i know that deep down theyre exhausted by my feelings. » Continue Reading
Sometimes I remember certain times my elder sister didnt really defend me. Like one time on a bus a complete stranger basically said how I looked like the older sibling instead of my older sister and he just kept complimenting her and I wouldn't care if she was getting complimented but the fact that the old guy said that to me and she said nothing has always stuck with me. Its not like I can whin... » Continue Reading
I want my own family in the future just away from my regular one. I love them, but theres a certain shadow looming over us that won't go away with any amount of therapy, built up resentment or whatever. On my end. I think I expect it to fix with them realizing that it needs fixing without needing to communicate with them. Most of my family tends to lash out easily when met with some push back for ... » Continue Reading
My dad thinks im pathetic. I've been unable to get an internship and get a footing with stuff and he acts like im not caring about it, but I do i really do. Its just hard to start. I mean I barely have any work experience so getting an internship is hard and I can tell he thinks im some kind of dumbass incapable of anything. As I get older I know he thinks poorly of me in regards to my approache... » Continue Reading
I recently asked my dad what he would think if I married outside of the religion and culture, I mean we aren't that religious but still. His point was that he wouldn't be overjoyed because he feels like there needs to be a deeper understanding between two people that comes from cultural background. My mother said if I marry out of the religion she'd rather be dead. It has me thinking about the lev... » Continue Reading
Had a friend come over. Having fun baking together. Suddenly my more charismatic housemate comes in, mind you her and my friend have never spoken. Suddenly they are bffs and im getting sidelined and now when I try to enter the conversation I look like a dumbass or a loser. Its so exhausting why am I never a point of conversation for them, genuinely why do I even bother if im just gonna feel like s... » Continue Reading
OMG getting into a student organization is so hard, they are so picky and it just feels like a popularity contest for university. I mean I'll be honest I don't have much experience but at least gimme a chance. I feel so pathetic cause I'm a junior and I have no internships, no experience etc. I was a transfer student and the second I started at my adult big girl woman university I felt so stupid.... » Continue Reading