"recovering"
im 17, uk based and my dream is to work in a big game one day
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https://blog.spacehey.com/chenster8888
Category: Life
it's been a while since i've updated i'm pretty sure i don't have best friends anymore which sucks, but also it was a good lesson for me to learn that everything is temporary and i will be hurt no matter what i do and to never trust anyone fully i am hurt that this experience completely flipped my life upside-down to the point where i cannot even function independently anymore, however i am grate... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
medication seems to be working well so far, im back to my usual weight and i go outside once a week also im a furry now and honestly that was not on my chen bingo card but here we are » Continue Reading
Category: Life
i would give anything just to have my life back it's so difficult and so confusing feeling 'nothing' all the time. i feel little to no emotional connection to people or memories, i don't feel scared or sad or happy or angry, i don't feel 'whole', i don't have desire for things like i used to, i feel like im just a consciousness inhabiting a body and not an actual person. i just want my life back. ... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
dear blog, recently i had an emergency appointment with my doctor, thankfully she was kind enough to take time out of her weekend to see me for an hour. we spoke alot about my feelings and symptoms and she prescribed me Propranolol and Sertraline instead to help with my side effects and symptoms of anxiety. the propranolol is supposed to help my physical symptoms mostly so i can go outside again, ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I keep losing weight and throwing up and near-fainting and falling over, idk what to do anymore, my bloods came back normal so is it just my mental illness? Has my body given up? It hurts so much to do basic tasks Im not even allowed to be by myself I feel like I'm on the Verge of death » Continue Reading
Category: Life
i arrived in bosnia yesterday... i managed to travel OK but I had a panic attack at the airport security check in 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 i am now in the country side and it's very peaceful... i still have large anxiety and I miss my house a lot but it's a nice change of pace... i hope this trip will lessen my anxiety a bit 😵💫😵💫 i feel so awkward talking to my family i feel like a loser lol.... its so weir... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
i cant really remember how long its been i still struggle to recognise my surroundings and myself, i started losing my memories a few days ago and it freaked me out alot, the only proof i have of things happening are photos and videos but apart from that i cant seem to remember any names or recall any of my experiences, the past month? (i think?) has been a massive blur and my brain is just block... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
im seriously fucking scared ive never dissasociared for this llong before and i cant tell whats real i dont know how to break out of oti i hope this is just side effects of medication i keep re reading my entries to remind myself this is happening this is real i am real » Continue Reading
Category: Life
i feel like ive lost touch with reality, i find it harder to discern my dreams from real life and i can't remember some of my memories, are they real memories? strangely, i don't feel that panicked or anxious about it. i think this is side effects of medication » Continue Reading
Category: Life
it's been intense i was released from the a&e a while ago, i lost all my strength to live, i can't move or take care of myself and i don't feel complete i lost 4 kilos i somehow got a few gray hairs my mama says it'll get better i hope it will get better » Continue Reading
Category: Life
it dawned on me that im probably going to read my diary entries in a year or a few months and cringe super hard (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) lolol after starting antidepressants again i don't think my body is used to it, ive been getting sick a lot so im gonna take it a bit less often it's so hard to not be anxious T_T i constantly feel like my friends hate me and the thought of going outside this weekend makes me... » Continue Reading
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