every night for the past few weeks, maybe months idk im not good with time, have been spent with me staring up at my ceiling listening to music with the occasional checking the time. I said before in a previous blog that writing helps calm me down, and it really does. But lately ive been wanting to write down everything to my ex, we're still friends, and a few nights ago i actually did write like ... » Continue Reading
a few days ago i asked my friend how do we know when we love someone, and she said "well, if you want to protect them and you dont want them to die then i would say you probably love them." and i guess that makes sense. When i was around 13 i went through a phase where i didnt know if i loved my parents for example, because i didnt know what it meant to love. I remember telling my parents this, my... » Continue Reading
tw vomit self harm drugs alchohol I genuinely cant wait to move into my own apartment. I went to my dads to escape my mom, i went to my grandmas to escape them both, and now my mom is at my grandmas house in MY room even though i told both of them i clearly did not want any of them in it while i was gone. I dont feel at home anywhere, not at my moms, not at my dads and not at my grandmas. I want ... » Continue Reading
I'm sorry I always said no when you asked if I wanted to come for dinner I'm sorry I was always so cold to you when you called to ask how I was I should have called you more often I should have answered you more I'm sorry » Continue Reading
You know what really sucks? Looking forward to something, but then the day finally arrives and you feel nothing. No joy or excitement, just nothing. It's just like, oh wow I'm so excited for that day! And then the day before or something, you're like oh, cool. whatever haha. And on the day you're like, ehhhhh okay and then after it's over you just move on with your day feeling nothing. Honestly I... » Continue Reading