depressing blog lol

You know what really sucks? Looking forward to something, but then the day finally arrives and you feel nothing. No joy or excitement, just nothing. It's just like, oh wow I'm so excited for that day! And then the day before or something, you're like oh, cool. whatever haha. And on the day you're like, ehhhhh okay and then after it's over you just move on with your day feeling nothing. 

Honestly I think I just crave being excited for something, so i can feel something all the time instead of having these moments where I'm SUPER happy and joyous to the point I feel like throwing up but then after a few moments i go back to being just. numb. or something lol. I have these like, moments were i go from ecstatic to really bad depression.

But like right now, because I don't have anything to be excited for, I don't really feel anything. And it fucking sucks.

- Blank by Glare (Spotify) , 7/8/2023