kanzenhanzai

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"suffering!β˜†"

24β˜†πŸŒŽChile, vampire wannabe ࢞

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kanzenhanzai's Blog Entries

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dream chronicles 1

Category: Blogging

dreamt of pete wentz. he was just there, like he was my friend. he was being cancelled for dating a minor. i looked at him and asked him if it was true. he said no, cause his girlfriend was 19. i told him that wasn't much better and what the hell was he thinking. he definitely looked younger, like he did in 2006~ (but still, 19 is definitely very young.) i just remembered that. i remember looking ... » Continue Reading

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— 1 Kudos

double edge swords and betrayals

Category: Blogging

i kinda think you're hypocrites, too. when she's excluded, it's such an issue, right? but when I'm excluded, no one bat an eye. of course, who would miss someone like me? of course, you'd choose the girl that you barely know and talk to rather than the guy you've been friends with years? yeah, sure. maybe we never were really friends. fuck you guys too. y'all don't care to know either so why would... » Continue Reading

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little girl, little girl you dirty liar

Category: Blogging

i write and write so often. in class, we're talking about letters. Oh, I know about letters, trust me. I'm always the one who writes. "when was the last time you received a letter?" last year, i think. from friends. And yet, I always write. isn't that sad? I'm not going to give anymore. what for, when all i receive is betrayal?  I feel so different from most people. Everyone suffers, but their suf... » Continue Reading

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JUST LIKE THE MATCH YOU TRIED TO INCINERATE

Category: Blogging

I GUESS IT'S TIME TO RELEASE EVERYTHING. TELL YOU EVERYTHING I WOULD TELL YOU TODAY, WHEN I NO LONGER LOVE YOU, NOT EVEN A TINY BIT.  FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE A COWARD. PATHETIC AND RIDICULOUS. IT MAKES ME REALLY MAD HOW YOU STILL HAVE THE GUTS TO BE AROUND WHEN YOU KNOW IT WAS ME WHO BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS FRIEND GROUP.  YOU TOOK TWO WEEKS TO SAY ANYTHING , JUST TO TELL ME YOU DIDN'T HATE ME? WHAT DID... » Continue Reading

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— 1 Kudos

i think I'm getting older

Category: Blogging

last time i was this stoned in public transport i was actively dying. like, my heart was in so much pain. i remember how that day i was breaking down, and thankfully, it's over. I don't have to cry anymore. there's nothing for me to suffer about. my life is uncertain, but stable. we must keep going forward, huh?  » Continue Reading

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the idea of love

Category: Blogging

love is such a wide concept. to think that where once love was, only pain can remain, is so saddening. it hurts to think of what could've been. not even for myself, but for others. i guess I'm just too passionate about doomed yaoi. why does love always have to end? or at the very least, change? i don't really know what I'm talking about anymore. still, one must keep going.  maybe someday I'll get ... » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

pretty fucking pathetic

Category: Blogging

that's what i am. a whiny baby. my life isnso fucking good, and i suffer for such stupid things. who even cares about any of that? I'm stupid for believing you ever even cared about me. The good thing is, I don't really have to see you again anymore. For real. That's super cool. I guess I'll eventually see you again at a long time event, but frankly, I don't care. You're just a random stranger now... » Continue Reading

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i really miss you

Category: Blogging

why do you care? no one can help me anymore  it's too late. too late. I don't trust anyone, anyone in my life. the more i let people in, the more they hurt me. it hurts. it hurts. everything hurts. the tears keep on falling and they burn both my eyes and my skin. it seems i was given a new heart just to keep suffering. i remember the good moments. when it was given to me. It hurts less. I feel pai... » Continue Reading

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waiter! waiter! bullet in my head please

Category: Blogging

i am choosing myself over everyone. and if i lose everyone in the process, then that's okay. I am what matter the most. those who cannot comprehend cannot understand me, never could.  i replay conversations that'll never happen in my head over and over i think about what i'd say to you knowing that'll never happen. i wish i could tell you how much i hate you. how much i want you gone. how much i w... » Continue Reading

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me and you (setting on a honeymoon)

Category: Blogging

pain. sharp. raw. i was definitely too high today (higher than i expected to be) and i was able to feel my emotions to their full extent. i won't change my mind or turn my back on myself anymore even if it costs me everything in the end. i am in too much pain and i must honor it for once. i know you think that I'm wrong and that this never meant nothing to you.  if others can't see the pain, leaki... » Continue Reading

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— 1 Kudos

I don't wanna be a dead man walking

Category: Blogging

if you left, all my problems would be fixed. but you're there, haunting me, and I'm the one who brought you in the first place. I'll never make this mistake again, but u honestly don't think I'll ever get the chance. maybe I'll have to leave, and it's all because you wouldn't. I'm the one who got hurt. loving someone shouldn't feel like a crime, reciprocated or not. Not reciprocating someone is to... » Continue Reading

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I won't cry for yesterday

Category: Blogging

i know I'm paying the price for staying true to myself. was loving you a crime, or a sin? why do i have to pay for having loved you? I'm sorry that i ever met you. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't let myself become your friend. You've ruined everything, and you don't even care at all, because you never, ever cared about me as a friend, or as a person. I'm sorry that I gave you her sweater. Yo... » Continue Reading

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