"Rotting, decaying even"
Writing from my grave | 20
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Category: Blogging
Tw idfk I'm in a depressive episode. Figure out what I'm gonna say yourself. Day like every other. I don't feel happiness. I'm tired. At school Purple was already in class so I left my things and went to th sea side. I'm always early. So I'll have to stay looking at the sea until 5 mins before class. One hour and 15 mins looking at the sea. I didn't cry. Not yet at least. I just stayed there. Thi... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I don't wanna eat. The smell of the warm dish makes me sick. I don't actually smell it. It's in my nostrils but I'm not here. Disconnected. I look at my hands to paint and make myself sick because of how girly they look. I hug my legs for comfort n feel disgusted by this body. I hear a name being called that someone engraved on my skin long ago and now the scab keeps falling, the blood goes back t... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Tw sh and suicide mentioned I woke up. Feeling shitty. I looked at the mirror to do my makeup and I felt like crying. Thoughts and more thoughts in my head. They're dark and slimy but sticky at the same time. I hate this makeup. I hate my eyebrows. I hate my hair. I hate what I look like. I hate what I am. I get on the train. More thoughts. I wanna cry more. I see a text from my last therapist.... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
So these few weeks the prof I have on Monday is traveling so we are gonna talk ab the project through the gc we have with him. N through the gc convos, apart from cringing from some of their projects but this is another story, I learnt berry absence these few weeks is cus he was somewhere else, travelling for shit I don't wanna share it's his family not mine I'm not diving too deep into others pri... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Today I had just one class, watercolors. I think I'm falling into an episode. Descending like dense pigment dropped in clean water on the paper. Yesterday I just wanted to cry. For no real reason. I listened to the 2008 la dispute album, from atat to finish twice. And today back with it. The class is 2 and a half hours, one was just of listening. And stand. And watch. The wind is cold, it's stron... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I hated today. I rlly hated today It was windy. Cold. At least the melting sun still trying to stick from the summer months would be a warm hug. No. Cold wind. Cloudy sky. Nervous sea. The world is in a bad mood so why should I be in a good one. I do everything as usual. Eat chips, set up the tables and then come back to the communal corner to charge my earphones and stay on my phone. Windows ope... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
First of all, met a prof from last year !! We talked a bit. Also I had to go on a journey cus I had to set the tables and the third was impossible to find lol Anyway There shouldn't be a Bluetooth speaker in an art class controlled by the students. Cus guess what. They're art kids. They're obnoxious. Yes including me. They fucking started with Disney songs Which, I'm trying to focus on this fuck... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Yeah I forgot to write on Monday lol. Nothing eventful rlly happened. Same thing for today. When I got to school dragon was already there so we talked a bit, when to the watercolor classroom, set up the tables n said stuff until my classmates arrived. Needless to say I hate watercolors still. Cus I suck at them. So I'm insecure ab it cus I can't live knowing I'm not the best at whatever I'm doing... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I'm. So tired. I had that meeting in the morning. So I wake up at 6:30. Hate it. Various travels, I get to the meeting. In all of this on the train I started getting gut wrenching cramps and nausea out of nowhere. Let's just say the train bumps didn't fucking help. The meeting was one hour instead of thirty mins. Fucking knew it. Still feel sick. Finally ends. I deposit one of my bag at school a... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I tried the ultra Violet monster! I think it's supposed to be grape. Like every monster I tried, it reminds me of a candy. Don't remember exactly which one tho. Could have been worse. And the can looks so pretty Ignore my ugly thumb Also » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
Another boring day. Started the watercolor class (I hate it) and digital drawing which is. More of just doing editorial. Aka learning how to draw in corporate style for newspapers etc. Which I hate. They assigned us some illustrations to do, gotta bring sketches next week and like. I rlly don't know how to do it. Editorial it's just not my style. It's fucking soulless. My style is just incompatibl... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Waiting for the train. The caffeine from the monster is warming off. We just did theory today.i had 5 hours of classes. Took the train to the city at 11 am and now it's 8 pm. Don't have official homeworks but I gotta think ab a city for an emotional map, it's a long story. Could have gone worse. The monster def helped not making me fall asleep lol. Sipping it between hours of distance helps not gi... » Continue Reading
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