I find myself daydreaming all the time about my perfect life and how much i wish I could just skip from now until the point where i reach it. The process of making myself better and making my life more enjoyable is really difficult, i feel like something out of my control has to change before i myself can start o take action. That’s an incredibly lazy way of thinking about it and i know that its u... » Continue Reading
As I’ve mentioned in a previous blog, I grew up very lower middle class and my relationship with money and consumerism is really deeply affected by it. Tonight I’ve been thinking about my relationship with items and spending money. Last weekend I was visiting home from school to see some renovations my parents did to the kitchen and while I was at home I attempted to repair my record player. This... » Continue Reading
I really should be sleeping right now, it’s 12:50am on a Monday night and I have assignments I have to be rested enough to complete. Yet I’m still laying in bed wide awake endlessly scrolling. For the last month or two I’ve fallen heavily in love with some old bands again, namely Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. Of course there are some others that I’ve included in my 2000s emo throwback, but... » Continue Reading
I was doing one of my many deep dives of the social media profiles of people I want to high school with tonight. In this specific deep dive, I came across my ex-boyfriend's old Instagram profile that he never deleted. He's a stronger person than I am, I remember him telling me he was deleting the app almost two full years ago, I know I could never do that. I haven't come across his profile in a wh... » Continue Reading
Growing up poor was extremely difficult for me and my family and I think it’s created some severe long-term problems around my outlook on life. Today I told my boyfriend about a dream I had last night where I was gifted $3000 but when I woke up and remembered how little money I actually have I got really sad. I didn’t think much of it at first because this is just a normal process for me but then ... » Continue Reading
I find myself being jealous often, and these feelings are directed towards almost everyone in my life. My fear of missing out has been a problem for as long as I can remember, maybe that’s part of my only child syndrome, but even then I’ve felt guilt about it too. Which sucks because I’m top of already feeling bad about the things other people are doing, I feel worse about feeling bad in the first... » Continue Reading
Being a woman is incredibly bittersweet. I have a hard time sorting out my feelings around it because sometimes I feel like I'm so blessed to have this body and everything that comes with it, but other times it fills me with the most intense dread imaginable. It's hard to be happy with being a woman when so many external pressures are constantly weighing down on me. I want to be able to exist and... » Continue Reading